Thanks so much Dazed Mommy. I'm really lucky to have this site.
I do feel courageous and my confidence is building up. I can't tell you how much this makes me feel so excited about life. I can't believe how I can feel this way after all I've been through and it makes me happy. If anything, I appreciate this push that my husband has given me. 2 more days and I will be out in another town. I will keep you all posted.
I think you are extremely courageous and you are facing your fears head on. I can see your confidence building in each post and it is inspiring. Whether or not your marriage makes it, you will have challenged your fears and know that you gave it your all. That's what will matter. I'm sure that whatever the outcome is it will be the right one. You deserve to be happy and I know you will be. Your going into a new and exciting phase of your life and marriage. It may be bumpy at times but it will be fun and worth it in the end.
Keep us posted Miki.. I'm completely stoked for you.
how was your vacation? Thanks for sharing with me your accomplishments and your similar struggles you've had in the past. It's very encouraging and exciting to read. I hope to share with you my accomplishments soon enough too!
Just got back from vacation. Read your message and can see your strength. I know what you mean when you say your relationship is different when living with your parents. I too lived with my parents for a time and was separated from my husband. I'm sure once you move you will learn new things about yourself. I had really underestimated myself. Living on my own again gave me strength. I did have to move back with my parents because I decided to leave my husband because of his drug problem, but what seemed like a step backwards at the time was a step forward. I saved money and bought my own house. My point is, just take care of yourself and you will grow through this. I felt I would never be myself again and that was true, I would be better for trying to move through my fears and see they were just lies!!!!!
Birdie
You asked to see my list of what I had accomplished after my anxiety, my old list was something like this,
drove one mile
took a shower
walked down the road
went to church
made supper
called a friend
My new list is,
Drove 10 hours to see family
Went back to work for 8 years now
Bought a house
Took college classes after being out of school for 15 years
Got remarried
This list reminds me that taking each day as it comes can lead to a lot of happy memories and the fact that anxiety does not have to run my life!!!!!
I am just waiting now if we will be able to move by this weekend... I have started packing but I don't really know what to take. My husband doesn't call me anymore though, but we'll see how it goes. I'm just excited to move back and change sceneries and be a wife again. I think all this time, living in my family's home was giving me some unconscious guilt... I couldn't be the ideal wife that I wanted to be since I always had my mother/ family to protect me. I have small fears that I wont be protected anymore... but I feel that this may be the cure for me in another sense. Thanks, all for being here.
I am so happy to see you in a better place. I think it is great the attitude you are taking on towards moving back to the city. I am very proud of you. I am glad that you talked to your friend and that it helped. I am also glad you feel excited about moving. A nice new adventure!I am also glad the pieces of the puzzle are falling into places for you.Thank you for sharing you revelation with us.
Please keep us posted and remember wether it is to vent ask advice or to keep us posted on your successes we are always happy to read what you have to say!
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Anytime Miki you know that . 
