I am so happy I stumbled on this site. It is full of very helpful and useful information!
This is both an introduction and a background... sorry for the long read! :)
I have suffered from Panic Disorder for about 5 years give or take. It started at my old job.
Was sitting at my desk one day, nothing out of the ordininary, and then POOF I was blacking out.
Like most people, I feared the worst and and went straight to my doctor. They checked all my vitals and naturally I was fine.
After having numerous subsequent panic attacks over the next week or so, I went back to the doc and was prescribed Paxil (20mg).
After the initial start up period on Paxil, it seemed to really do the trick.. I had very very few panic attacks and the ones I did have disappeared quickly.
After a couple of years, I didn't like how the Paxil was making me feel as far as being rather unemotional and somewhat lackidaisical.. I talked with my doctor anddecided to gradually reduce to 10mg.
This helped alost tho my "minor" attacks seemed to be a little mroe frequent again, but I just lived with them..
Well fast forward a bit..
I found out a few months ago my office was being closed and I was needing to find a new job by Mid-May.. I found a great fit and was scheduled to start this past Wednesday.
My last day at the old job was exactly one week ago.. I've also started a new relationship with a girl I adore, and while we aren't that serious yet, it could get that way.
So last weekend I am out with her and some friends and an outdoor festival, and I feel the familiar symptoms of a panic attack.. I fight through it, but I have that nagging panicked feeling for the next 24 hours..
Monday I wake up and immediately start hyperventilating... I haven't had this sort of attack in years.. My thoughts are of the new job and how in the world am I going to survive in unfamiliar territory. I completely lose my appetite and don't eat a thing till later that night.
I hit avoidance phase and hardly leave the house for the day..
Tuesday morning I wake up and its the same scenario... I almost faint ... Now I"m really freaking out about the first day of work.. Once again, loss of appetite, hardly eat a thing all day.
Tuesday night I'm just in a restless state, scared to go to bed because I know I"ll wake up for my first day all a mess.. So I cop out sorta and head to the ER.. Naturally all vitals are fine.. They give me an IV drip to give me some nutrients and a prescription for Ativan which is simply a temp fix and habit forming over a long period..
So Wednesday AM, I call my new employer and inform them of a "Stomach Virus" I have and will need to postpone my start date.. They are very gratious and give me another week. I head back to my doctor for a follow up and he gives me a script for a beta blocker of some sort to help with the light headedness and to reglulate my pulse some.
He also tells me to get back up to 20mg on the Paxil at least temporarily..
Now its Friday and every single morning I have woken up after a restless sleep and have an instant attack.. I have never been this bad in the last few years of "dealing" with Panic Disorder.. Having all this free time just makes it worse I think.
So today I have done a ton of research and really want to rethink how I deal with this disorder on a more cognitive basis.. I can't afford to make up another excuse when I need to go to work next week..
Add to the fact that I have avoided my new girl a lot this week, tho I have told her what was going on.. We are supposed to get together this weekend too, and I won't lie, it scares me a little too..
Anyway, looking forward to trying the program and learning more and more about this issue... I am long overdue for some proactive involvement..
