You know what Jo, let it happen, let all these funny feelings happen to you. The more you restrain them, the more they'll appear and to you they will feel stronger. It sounds like they are all feelings of panic, anxiety, uncertainty, I truly remember these feelings.
Like I said, your relationship with your father in law is different compared to your husband's relationship, therefore, you'll grieve differently. What's important to you in that relationship may not be as important to someone else. I understand you wanting to be strong for your husband, I remember trying to be strong for my Mom, I couldn't cry, I had to be on top of everything, I had to try and be really positive, but I forgot about my feelings. Take the time out for you, talk to your husband, journaling your feelings is a great idea, truly this helps.
Keep in touch with us, this also helps. Take care. I'm thinking about you...I know what you're going through.
