Isabella, WOW! You are doing so well! Couldn't be prouder of you! You've made some wonderful progress! Keep it up! Danielle _____________________ The PC Support Team

Hi Maggie! I am actually doing really good and way better than last quarter. I have been back in school for four weeks now and have only missed one class (not because of anxiety but because of the flu). I still have anxiety in class and had one really bad panic attack but I have been able to talk myself out of it and calm myself down. I basically have just been telling myself that I am fine, I've gone through this before, nothing is going to happen to me this time because it is no different than the others, etc. I also find that breathing exercises accompanied by trying to relax certain muscle groups, like my neck and shoulders, has really helped. But I think I am calmer this time around because one of my closest friends, the only one that knows about my anxiety and panic attacks, is in a couple of my classes (we are both Psych majors). I feel safer with her because I know if something were to really happen then she would help me and take care of me. I can also tell her when I feel anxious or panicky and she helps get my mind off of it. It is also nice to know that if I do miss class, she will catch me up on things so I don't feel as guilty. Oh, and I pray alot when I am in class and really anxious. I am really happy that I chose to go back to school and to not take the quarter off because I am much better and I feel happy about not letting the anxiety control my life. For once I am starting to feel like I have control over the anxiety, atleast more so than in the past. I still have my rough days where I worry something is wrong with me but it is easier for me to come out of them now and to not dwell on every physical symptom I have. I think that initiating self-talk at the beginning of an attack or at the beginning of anxious thoughts really helps. I just try to be totally rational with myself, like what are the odds of a healthy 23 year old having a heart attack, one who had a normal EKG 3 months ago? Slim to none. So I know I am not having a heart attack and I can move on. How are you doing now? What is your biggest struggle? I know how bad things can get and trust me, I have been through it all in a short amount of time (3 years now), so nothing sounds too crazy or weird. Let me know how you are doing :) Sorry for writing so mu

Isabella, I was just wondering what is going on with school now? How are you doing? How are you feeling? Hope all is well with you. :)

Danielle, Thank you so much. You really made me feel better and that helps alot. I think I will call the school tomorrow and see what options I have. You are right, I am doing all that I can to beat this and I shouldn't be embarassed but it is hard because there is a perception in our society, it is getting better but still exists, that people with anxiety are crazy or have poor mental health. I will put my embarassment aside and see what happens. Maybe it will be a good thing. Thank you so much for the support and advice.

Isabella, It all depends on your school. Some schools will provide you with counselling, others will send a counsellor into class with you and turn the experience into exposure work, some will allow you to have private instruction until you are able to better manage being in regular classes, some will set you up with tutoring, leave of absence... again it all depends. Hopefully you'll be able to find that extra support you need for when you're in the classroom. Don't be embarassed. You are doing everything in your power to help yourself. There is no shame in that! Keep strong. Danielle ________________________ The PC Support Team

Danielle, Thank you so much for your support. I haven't looked into the mental health resources at my school. I got the number to call but I am kind of embarassed to have to tell someone and I am not sure how they will accomodate me. Do you know how they assist someone with Panic Disorder/Social Phobia? I am going to give in and take some medicine to see if that will help me. I have to do whatever it takes because this is obviously irrational and not normal. Thank you so much for everything :)

Isabella, Sorry to hear your first day back was so tough but you made it through and we are proud! Keep working through the program and challenging those anxious thoughts to break that panic cycle. You may also want to try employing relaxation techniques before going to class when you're anxiety levels start to rise. Have you had a chance to see what mental health ressources are available to you through your school? Getting 1-1 supervision and assistance while on campus may be helpful to you. Keep persevering! Danielle ________________________ The PC Support Team

Isabella, Please don't give up hope. If you drop out...those of us who are pulling for you will feel like we let you down with our support. Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist who could perhaps prescribe an anti-anxiety medication to help you through the rough spots? I personally am working through the 12 sessions of this program to help me reduce my reliance on medication. I can say for sure that Klonopin saved my life and helped me resume a somewhat normal work/home life. Now I'm working on reducing my dependence on this medication. Only a health care professional would be able to determine what would fit your needs. I used to be resistant to taking even aspirin and I don't know how you feel about medications...but there are some new medications out there that have minimal side effects that I'm sure can help you. I used to take Klonopin 5 times a day and now I'm only using on an as needed basis. I applaud you on going back that first day. That took alot of guts and believe me...I feel your pain and am in wonderment how you pulled it off. Do you have a "safe" person there that can help you if you have a panic attack? Avoidance is a tuff issue...but I feel that if you make it to class and need to leave...pat yourself on the back for trying...because each time will get easier. I think the main reason we are pulling for you is...if you succeed...then maybe we can too! Keep your head up, Laine

I made myself go to class today despite my lack of desire to go. It was truly horrible. My first class, I had a racing heart for the first 30 minutes then it got slightly better only to return again until the end of class. In my second class, I really thought I was having a heart attack and I couldn't stop fidgeting and wanting to get up and leave. I made myself sit there and suffer through it all and it never got any better. My chest was burning, I was nauseous, my left arm felt numb, I got dizzy, and my heart was beating so fast and hard that I felt it in my stomach. It was absolutely horrible and I honestly don't know how I am going to go through it again tomorrow. I know that my anxious thoughts made things worse and I found myself being rational but that didn't help slow my heart rate down or take the nausea away. What am I going to do tomorrow? I really can not go through this 5 days a week. I only have 3 quarters left and I will be done but this is too much stress that I am truly contemplating quitting. Imagine your biggest fear and phobia and having to experience it every day without a drop in that fear. Everday you have to suffer through it and it is still just as scary and terrifying as it was the first day. That is me going to school. Not sure why I became like this after having 3 years of college and being an active and involved student. I think, unfortunately, I am going to let the fear beat me on this one and I am going to drop out :(

Thank you guys so much. I have decided that I am going to go to school tomorrow and see how things go. I know that if it gets really bad then I can always get up and leave or go to the bathroom. I am just going to take it one day at a time. I never thought about the services my school may have for someone with anxiety. I am embarassed about it and I am not sure if I will go that route but I may just call and see what accomodations they offer(disguising my true identity of course LOL). Thanks for all the support and the info. I really appreciate it and I really needed it. It made me feel better so thank you very much. I pray tomorrow goes well. I spoke with a close friend and she is also in a class with me tomorrow so I will have her support and that made me feel a ton better, plus I can get notes easily if I have to miss. Keep me in your prayers and I'll update you tomorrow on how things go. My fingers are crossed ;)