Well, what can I say My boyfriend and I have been fighting every night for the past 3 nights. We havent really been spending time together for about a week or two now. Its been hard because I recently began treatment for a medical condition (that I must be dedicated to for a whole year), and he hasnt really been around. I understand we have been on different hours for a while now up until 2 days ago, but even when our hours would cross, he would barely even acknowledge that I was awake. Anyhow, I think a lot of this has gotten to me/us and so towards the night time we land up fighting. Sometimes I even land up getting really upset and blaming him for my current situation (not entirely, but partially). Of course I am not the only one being hurtful during these times, but it doesnt make it any more right. I have been having panic attacks around the clock as a result of the confrontations and fights- and tonight I almost went to the hospital. I honestly thought there must be something else wrong with me because I was feeling so desperate, depressed, panicked, and the most incredible doom you could probably ever feel. I had moments where I felt like collapsing and screaming at the top of my lungs while in a fetal position (and maybe even ripping my very own hair out of my head). I didnt do it, but the feelings where very much there and VERY strong. We have been fighting so badly to the point that we are on the verge of breaking up. Well, we have been mentioning me moving out every day for the past 3 days since these awful, awful arguments. I think he is fed up with me. I dont know what to do. If this is all on behalf of the panic disorder, it is absolutely destroying my life! I feel like I am seconds from going to the hospital and asking for anti-psychotics. I just cant handle theses emotions that come with such stress. I think because I am doing this other treatment at the moment too, that it makes me feel even more brain fogged, high and derealized; which consequently makes me feel like I am going to lose control and do something crazy. There is so much to say about this entire thing but in the end I just want to fix this. I dont know, in these recent fights, I am just feeling like I can never ever get over this disorder if I stay here. I