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Separation anxiety


19 years ago 0 98 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lauren, thanks for the advice. As bad luck would have it, the weather was awful where they went camping so she is home now. She lives about 20 minutes from me and we are gonna see each other tomorrow. My main problem here is that we've been dating almost 3 months and I am letting myself get close to her naturally and this was my first major test of being separate in a manner where she's away from home. I am sure it'll get better. This trip was planned before we met, or I might have gone. But I had this problem as a child, but not really when I was married. I actually enjoyed when my ex wife left the house. I know that sounds harsh, but it was an awful marriage. This is the closest I have let myself get to anyone emotionally and physically in manner years, so I am gonna just roll with it. As more trust develops I am sure it'll lessen. I've had a couple girlfriends cheat on me in the past so there's always that trust issue that has to be satisfied for me to feel comfortable. I trust her already. But I worry about her safety sometimes. That comes from my father because I'm 38 and he still worries about me and when he was 38 his mother worried about him all the time. David
19 years ago 0 18 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Ruby - What has your doctor/therapist said about the not being able to be alone problem? Mine says it's a common thing that happens when panic/agoraphobia gets bad. He also said that it's something that, with time, will get better. I have the same problem right now; not being able to be alone. I can go certain places alone knowing that my father or husband are at home and I can rush over there if I was to feel bad. This is a fairly new thing, though. I've had panic disorder and agoraphobia since I was 19 but was never plagued with this "being alone" cr*apola. -P-
19 years ago 0 367 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi David. I came across your post and it reminds me of myself kind of. I do not suffer from seperation anxiety but I am unable to go to bed without my husband. When I had my first series of panic attacks, I would lay in my bed in the dark alone. Very scary. Now if I am in the dark in my room alone, I am reminded of that time. I don't know what I would do if he had to be out of town overnight or something. He used to be gone from Monday-Friday every week to work in Boise. It was so hard. And this was before my anxiety issues. Sometimes I wouldn't know what to do at night. Like what to watch on TV or what to eat for dinner. I supposed I am not the most independent person. To help you when she is gone, I think you should try to stay busy. Get out with friends or family, tackle a project you've been meaning to do, clean out a closet, something. I find the busier I am, the less I stress. And count down the days til she returns. Good Luck!!!!
19 years ago 0 98 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks, Ruby. I have been keeping busy, but this is so new in this relatonship that it's hard to focus sometimes, but I am trying. As you know, with anxiety, little thoughts and fears can become so big if you obsess. I often have trouble with obsessing, but mostly it is not bad. I do not have to be with someone all the time, but she and I spent large parts of the last 3 of 4 days together so it made saying goodbye (just for 2 days) really hard. We have been dating for nearly 3 months. I've fallen in love with this girl and that's why it's hard. When we first met, she went away a couple weeks later and called me twice from across the country. I was so touched. It was easier then because I was not in love with her or was she in love with me yet. But I did have separation anxiety very seriously as a child. I could not go to school without my Mom and whenever she went out I feared she was not coming back. And then she died of cancer when I was ten, so you can see where it all comes from for me. Any other advice or questions you have, just fire away. Gotta get ready for work now. David
19 years ago 0 252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for the reply. My anxiety has gotten worse in the last three years, I cannot stay on my own or even go anywhere on my own, my partner has to be with me all the time. That's why I replied because I thought your symtoms where similar to mine, I have been on here and read so many posts but have not found someone with the similar symtoms to mine, as in needing someone to be with them all the time and go everywhere with them. Try not to worry about your girlfriend, as this will only make your anxiety worse. Have you got any hobbies or anything you enjoy doing. Try to keep yourself occupied, you will probably find this will help. Ruby.................
19 years ago 0 98 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I can be alone a lot, but this is a very new relationship and this is the first time we have not been together on the weekend since Early February. And the feelings with her have become very strong. It just feels really weird and has brought back so many memories of when I was a child and scared to be without someone I love, namely parents. It's a hard pain to describe and it's also fear. She's also with some friends who drink, so that adds to my fears because she told me she had a couple shots of vodka on the phone. I finally did get some sleep. David David
19 years ago 0 252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
HI, Do you have to have someone with you all the time to. What I mean is I can't stay on my own or go anywhere without my partner. Ruby...
19 years ago 0 98 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello again. I am suffering from separation anxiety. I had it as a child and I have it right now because my girlfriend is away for the weekend. It's giving me trouble sleeping and causing me to have OCD again. I really hate this. David

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