ThankYou for all the support. I think people with anxiety/panic are extremely nice and want to be loved and accepted by others so we care too much about what others think and somehow we became our own worst enemy, criticizing, judging and berating ourselves, believing others are better. We have to learn to love ourselves in a healthy manner and look beyond scared and hurt feelings, I truly believe this but some how it hasn'nt changed my fear or caused me to take action. Everytime i get up enought courage to do something my fear of being humuliated over take me. I feel ashamed of who I am and have worked out a good front to protect myself from being found out, especially at work. If I would have to stand up in front of my coworkers and even read a sentence or two I feel i would be shaking all over, it actually has happened to me and it was the most embarresing thing, even my voice was quivering. Its getting harder and harder to avoid attending trainings and so forth where I would have to actually participate so either I will have to conquer this fear or quit my job and if I do I'll lose my home and car and I have three children, and a husband who won't be able to financially carry all of our expenses. If anyone know someone or have conquered a severe case of social/performance/public speaking anxiety please let me know what they did. I've tried therapy self help books but have not been able to try desensitizing myself because its kind of hard to come across speaking/performing situations and even if i did I would be too scared doing it without active support. I know I just wrote a lot but I really don't have anyone to talk to about this. Thanks for reading. God bless, please reply. :8o:
