grapeseed @ May 9, 2021 7:42:28 PM
Hi Gus and Foxman
Well, back on the wagon. I haven't had any slips since I last posted. I am working on planning for slips. Thanks for that Gus! Also, I decided again that I need to stop for a long stretch. So far, so good. It is good to know others know what I am going through. Having lavender lemonade today. It is a nice treat.
How is everyone else doing?
Hello grapeseed.
I am doing well. I am glad you are doing great. About slips. Its not that we could avoid it, the issue is, if your mind is like mind, its fickle minded when it comes to booze. If the leave the door open, it starts playing tricks. There are great stories in the book alcoholics anonymous that depict the peculiar mental twist we all go through. One such story is the car salesman who goes into the town looking for prospects. He has no desire to drink. He goes into a restaurant for a sandwich and milk. Since he was still hungry, he orders another. Still no thought of a drink. But suddenly a thought comes through "if only he can mix whiskey with milk and drink on a full stomach" it wont hurt. The experiment goes so well, he orders another and another.
Realizing deep down that we have a problem and working on changing the things that doesn't work keeps us in the zone where we can clearly say no when the mind starts playing tricks.
Hi Gus and Foxman
Well, back on the wagon. I haven't had any slips since I last posted. I am working on planning for slips. Thanks for that Gus! Also, I decided again that I need to stop for a long stretch. So far, so good. It is good to know others know what I am going through. Having lavender lemonade today. It is a nice treat.
How is everyone else doing?
grapeseed @ Apr 24, 2021 7:38:53 PM
Hi gus
Congratulations on going so long without drinking. That is awesome. My lap top was broken and then I had a few slips. I look up to you! I know what caused the slips. Work stress and my gf wanted to drink a few nights. She doesn't have a problem with drinking so she should be able to have a few drinks. I cannot. I have to learn that and I think in a way she needs to accept I can't just have a few with her.. at least not for now. But I am back on the wagon. How are you doing?
I am doing good Grapeseed. Thanks for asking. Had a great weekend with my family. I have peace and tranquility when I dont drink. And so do those around me.
I could write a book on slips. Slips can be bad. But you can switch them into something good, if you learn something from that slip. If you really pay attention, you can learn from a slip.
For example, if you know that work stress causes a slip, maybe the next time you anticipate work stress, you tell yourself "I know I'm gonna feel like a drink when work stresses me out today." Then at least you have a way of preparing yourself to be able to deal with the work stress with a more effective way than a drink. Maybe a long walk, or a workout, or a bike ride, or a good movie can replace the drinking time?
As for ".....she can have a few drinks. I cannot...." My experience has been its easier to stop all together than to try and moderate. That may sound counterintuitive to some people. But for me, stopping 100% was always easier. Moderating was a difficult road.
Have a great week!
Gus
foxman @ Apr 25, 2021 8:57:11 AM
grapeseed @ Apr 24, 2021 7:38:53 PM
Hi gus
Congratulations on going so long without drinking. That is awesome. My lap top was broken and then I had a few slips. I look up to you! I know what caused the slips. Work stress and my gf wanted to drink a few nights. She doesn't have a problem with drinking so she should be able to have a few drinks. I cannot. I have to learn that and I think in a way she needs to accept I can't just have a few with her.. at least not for now. But I am back on the wagon. How are you doing?
Thats the baffling nature of this condition. We know that we cant handle one or two drinks but when someone offers a drink, we cant say no! Thats powerlessness over alcohol. At that moment, the mind goes blank!
Hi Foxman,
II can only speak for myself. I can't handle 1 or 2. If I say yes to 1, its off to the races. It never stops at 1 or 2. Stopping all together is easier. At least thats how it is for me. Its baffling for sure, but it is what it is.
grapeseed @ Apr 24, 2021 7:38:53 PM
Hi gus
Congratulations on going so long without drinking. That is awesome. My lap top was broken and then I had a few slips. I look up to you! I know what caused the slips. Work stress and my gf wanted to drink a few nights. She doesn't have a problem with drinking so she should be able to have a few drinks. I cannot. I have to learn that and I think in a way she needs to accept I can't just have a few with her.. at least not for now. But I am back on the wagon. How are you doing?
Thats the baffling nature of this condition. We know that we cant handle one or two drinks but when someone offers a drink, we cant say no! Thats powerlessness over alcohol. At that moment, the mind goes blank!
Hi gus
Congratulations on going so long without drinking. That is awesome. My lap top was broken and then I had a few slips. I look up to you! I know what caused the slips. Work stress and my gf wanted to drink a few nights. She doesn't have a problem with drinking so she should be able to have a few drinks. I cannot. I have to learn that and I think in a way she needs to accept I can't just have a few with her.. at least not for now. But I am back on the wagon. How are you doing?
Congrats on getting through one month Gus! One month is the hardest, and it sounds like you are doing amazing. I love your mindset! I hope you rewarded yourself in some way!
Take care,
Ashley
Non thinking has been an issue for me. I did not think through the action when I went back to drinking again. If I did, I would have been reminded of the trouble and agony it caused me, and those around me, in the past.
I try and be as contented as humanly possible every day. I know there are challenges, but I can handle them when I stay contented and calm. I do everything I can to avoid being restless and irritable. I have so much internal peace when I conduct my days this way.
I know I'm only in week 4, but this is the combined formula I need to follow.
Have a great day guys!
foxman @ Mar 23, 2021 8:25:51 AM
I don’t know what changed in my mindset that made me go back drinking? I really don’t. I wish I had recorded how my thinking changed.
I totally get it. The book calls it the "Blank Spots" or Peculiar mental twists. The mind doesnt operate at all (From Bills story: Someone offered me a drink and i took it) or the voice in the head (An ounce of whiskey in milk on a full stomach wont hurt, from the car salesman story). In either case, the problem drinker acts on that thought/no thought and then the craving kicks in and then they get drunk.
My understanding is, it takes a deep level, at the gut-wrenching level, that we have a problem with drinking but thats just the first step in recovery. Then belief in some process that can restore us to sanity. So we have a clear understanding about ourselves and our relationship with alcohol. As we start working on the reminder of the steps, we will be restored to sanity.
Most people i know who have worked the steps and continue to make progress hardly have to worry about being drunk again. Few do go out. Thats because of the individual. We are human, occasionally we do get resentful and if we dont act quick, the chance of going back is very good. Thats why the book talks about being contingent of being spiritual fit. So i try hard not to be restless irritable and discontented.
Four weeks alcohol free. Starting week 5 alcohol free tomorrow morning.
What is making this stick this time? Mindset. My mindset is proper this time. I know alcohol is not doing anything for me.
Have a great week everyone!
Gus
Hey guys,
This is the start of week 5 alcohol fee for me. Had a great weekend Alcohol free!
I realize that my ability to think deeply and longer is greatly improved by not drinking. Drinking seemed to completely mess up my thinking. Did any of you find your ability to think improved when you stopped alcohol?
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks
Gus
Hey guys,
This is the start of week 5 alcohol fee for me. Had a great weekend Alcohol free!
What is making this stick this time? Mindset. My mindset is proper this time. I know alcohol is not doing anything any good for me, so why drink it?
I realize that my ability to think deeply and longer is greatly improved by not drinking. Drinking seemed to completely mess up my thinking. Did any of you find your ability to think improved when you stopped alcohol?
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks
Gus
I don’t know what changed in my mindset that made me go back drinking? I really don’t. I wish I had recorded how my thinking changed.
I totally get it. The book calls it the "Blank Spots" or Peculiar mental twists. The mind doesnt operate at all (From Bills story: Someone offered me a drink and i took it) or the voice in the head (An ounce of whiskey in milk on a full stomach wont hurt, from the car salesman story). In either case, the problem drinker acts on that thought/no thought and then the craving kicks in and then they get drunk.
My understanding is, it takes a deep level, at the gut-wrenching level, that we have a problem with drinking but thats just the first step in recovery. Then belief in some process that can restore us to sanity. So we have a clear understanding about ourselves and our relationship with alcohol. As we start working on the reminder of the steps, we will be restored to sanity.
Most people i know who have worked the steps and continue to make progress hardly have to worry about being drunk again. Few do go out. Thats because of the individual. We are human, occasionally we do get resentful and if we dont act quick, the chance of going back is very good. Thats why the book talks about being contingent of being spiritual fit. So i try hard not to be restless irritable and discontented.
Gus and John,
The start of another week and both of you continue on the right track. I read similar concerns in both of your posts and would like to add my thoughts. John, you ask what members have done to stay sober. Gus, you question what changed in your mindset to take you back to drinking.
In my opinion, to remain sober is to continue working. Time has a way of clouding our memory. You both describe events that occurred when you were drinking and are determined to never allow such events again. In the years to come will those images have the clarity they have today? If not, perhaps that's how the slippage occurs.
We know that giving up alcohol is not easy and requires work. I think we get a little complacent as the days turn to weeks, months, and years. We become vulnerable to the temptations that we thought we had learned to control. I once thought that when a certain amount of time passed without drinking, everything would be okay. Life without alcohol got easier but I quickly realized there was still work to be done. This is one reason I continue to come back here. It’s my reminder of the control alcohol had and will always have, on me. This will most likely be a lifelong struggle for me, and I’m okay with that. This struggle is far easier than the “fun” I was having while drinking.
I hope this helps in some way. I continue to support both of you and wish you luck!
Lynn
Week 4 starting today. Have to say I’m feeling great physically and mentally. So is everyone around me. The way I drank was not good. For anyone.
John, hope you have a good week!
Foxman, and anyone else who wants to comment: I was away from Drinking for 3 years. There were two high end Vodkas in my cupboard for about 6 months during that time (I won them at a conference). I gave them to two friends of mine about 6 months after I won them. The thought of drinking them never occurred to me once (that’s one of the drinks I liked when I drank).
I don’t know what changed in my mindset that made me go back drinking? I really don’t. I wish I had recorded how my thinking changed.
