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Hello?New Here & Feeling Lost.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Hi Thelma,

I'm so glad you found this site. And I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. Of course, I know the feeling all too well...this weekend was a lot better than last, but I did still drink. And I am feeling pretty low today, even though I didn't do anything "bad" alcohol still leaves me with this hollowness.

I think what Foxman said is totally right and maybe next week it would help to step back and observe how you're feeling before jumping onto a drink? I'm not expert though so don't feel I can really offer the best advice. What helped a little this weekend was talking to my friends about it, so they were aware of what I was struggling with and could help me manage it a little while we were at a party. I was also only around my closest friends and I don't feel the urge to drink as much when I'm comfortable with the people I'm with. I was also terrified of blacking out so I just drank really cautiously, and I am surprised it actually worked for me because in the past it hasn't.

I'm thinking of finding some kind of group therapy to attend to talk to others who struggle in a similar way, maybe something in-person would help for you as well.

Thinking of you, and hope you aren't beating yourself up too much. Do remember that the feeling passes and try to do some self-care to feel back on track. I hope that helps a little.

Lily

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I do not think I could manage the moderation.

Welcome to the forums Thelma, you are at the right path. I too tried to control but then I failed miserably and then I tried to stop but couldn't. See there are 3 aspects of our drinking condition. The mind, body and the spiritual malady the state of being restless irritable and discontented when not drinking. Thats because we have been medicating the condition with alcohol. But our bodies are little bit off also. Once we put alcohol in our body the body and mind wants more. And it all starts with the mind tricking us to believe that this time its going to be different. Observe your mind next Friday. See how it starts justifying that you deserve a drink.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

Hi Lily,

I've just come across your post from last week and it is my story exactly. I am a binge drinker. Nothing during the week and then boom, Friday comes and it's party time. This past week I had stuff on both nights so now it's Sunday night, I'm tired, hungover, feel like ****. No memory of the nights ending. Totally blacked-out, The worst is that I have three small kids, and I was responsible for another girl sleeping over. The remore, shame, guilt is just the icing on the cake. It will take me days to get feeling better.

I have been thinking about quitting drinking for a few months now but today I finally took the first step. I am going the tee-total route. I do not think I could manage the moderation. Next weekend will be tough.

How did your weekend go? Any strategies?

Thelma

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Hi Gus,

Thank you so much for the reply. This was incredibly helpful, I can't even begin to explain how much so. I've never thought about it in the way you describe, and I think you are 100% correct?I've been duped.

I'm going to find the book right now and get it on my phone.

Thank you again, truly.

Hope you have a great week as well.

Take care,

Lily

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 115

Hi Lily,

I hear everything you are saying. I have been there, done that, and have the scars to show it.

I can see you may have fallen for one of the biggest scams in the world - that alcohol provides a benefit for us. Alcohol provides no benefits for us whatsoever. That has been proven by a recent World Health Organization study of alcohol studies. They have stated clearly that the safest amount of alcohol is zero.

Many of us drinkers have been tricked in the past into thinking alcohol provides some sort of benefit. On the contrary, it does exactly the opposite of what it tricks us into thinking it’s doing. For example, when we are thirsty, it tricks us into thinking we are quenching thirst, when in fact, it’s dehydrating our bodies. Hence, the dry mouth when hungover.

You ask the question “Will I ever be able to live a happy and normal life that isn’t filled with dramatic nights and days in recovery?” The answe is yes. Once you understand that alcohol is a big confidence trick, you can set yourself free from dependency.

I read a great book on this very topic called Easy Way to Control Alcohol, by Allan Carr. You can get it in audiobook and listen to it on your phone.

Take care, I hope you have a good week

Gus

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm looking for support. My issues with drinking are around binge drinking. I don't tend to drink on weekdays, but on weekends I get out of control. I'm seeking help after two particularly awful nights this weekend. It's not just that I over drink, but I over drink to the point of blacking out, but more than that?to the point where it's like there's another me who takes over. I become rude, aggressive, engage in bad behaviours, put myself in potentially dangerous situations, and I wake up the next day unable to function. I am scared for my mental and physical health, and I always go into a deep depression after these binges. As time passes, I do feel better. But then this cycle repeats. I always think I'll be able to handle it, that this time will be different, but it never is. I've ruined relationships because of this and done things I am deeply ashamed of. I've reached out to my therapist for an appointment this week, but I just feel so lost and uncertain about how to move forward. How do I forgive myself? Do I even want to forgive myself if I keep doing the same things over and over? Will I ever be able to drink like a normal person or is this indicative of a larger issue? Why am I this way? And will the people in my life be able to forgive me for my actions? Will I ever be able to live a happy and normal life that isn't filled with dramatic nights and days in recovery?

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