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7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Wow! So I'm not alone with this problem at all. His favourite question is "so will you drink wine when the time comes" whatever that means lol. I think it translates to, "please tell me your not going to be a boring old teetotaler when we go on vacation."

The truth is I would love to be able to have a few "when the time comes" and it makes me mad that I can't. I really did feel mad yesterday that I had to give it up altogether but I know where just a couple of drinks leads for me and the result is a very very long row of empty bottles.

Thanks for being there Flipflopmom. Your support means more than you will ever know.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

I wanted to add that my spouse STILL doesn't get it. He still asks me to join him for a drink waaaaay too often. They don't have the same experience with alcohol that we do, so perhaps they don't understand. That's ok. They DO need to be supportive, though, and in the beginning that is really important. My hubby would love for me to have a couple drinks, get silly, have 'fun' with him (I'll never understand why drinking has to be added to have fun.) I've told him multiple times what it's like to be me, and what alcohol does to me, how it makes me think, how I obsess about it... still he asks me "Sooo, wanna share a beer with me?" Like if I have 1/2 a beer that's going to be ok!

If you spouse just doesn't get it, or has trouble being supportive, I'd say come here for support and understanding. It helped me a lot in the beginning.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Thanks so much Ashley and flipflopmom. It's good to be back and I know this is really where I need to be. I know that I can't have just one or two glasses of wine, ever. Once I start I can't stop which is why I have to stay away. Today is my quit day so I know it's going to be a tough one but at the same time i know there is a huge reward in the long run.

One thing that I did learn this time around was that my spouse cannot seem to grasp an understanding of what it's like to be in my shoes. He rarely drinks and when he does he can have one or two without any trouble at all. He doesn't get why I can't have a drink when we go out for dinner or when we are on vacation and then just stop. Unfortunately I'm not wired that way and never will be, but I don't know how to help him see this. It's interesting though that even as an occasional drinker he still sees alcohol consumption as an essential part of fun and relaxation...

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Hello Wastedtime!

Welcome back! I did miss seeing you around here. I was hoping you were doing ok. Well, here, I'll tell you this. I drand 2 glasses of champagne on New Year's Eve, and yesterday I had 1/2 a glass of wine. Both times I felt HORRIBLE the next day. Shame, guilt, and my daughter telling me GREAT JOB, MOM, NOW YOU HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN! lol... she is my big smack of reality.

The truth is... we are all flawed.... and it is what it is.... I am very flawed, and I want to go back to failing to moderate as I did many times, because with time we forget what drinking was like... so it's easier to have that desire to drink return. Other than feeling like the alcohol made my anxiety medicine completely useless, I was ok drinking my little slip up, and I don't feel the desire to drink again. I'm sure that could change tomorrow, or later on today, let's be honest.

Community and support are great. I, too, have been off here, and look what I did... drank...

Happy New Year, and Happy New Goals. You've got this. And we're here for you.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Welcome back!

It is great to hear from you. Congratulations on getting back to it. Your honesty and determination shows your strength. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Slips are common and they simply point to more learning that needs to take place. It looks like you have already learned from this slip; so, you are ahead of the game! Keep posting and we will be here to support you every step of the way.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Thanks so much for writing back Foxman. I was most certainly not ready to accept that my quit would have to last forever but I also know that I loved the feeling of being sober (especially first thing in the morning) and so there is a very positive aspect to leaving it behind permanently. I do see that community and mutual support are a very important part of the process and I plan to do some research over the next couple of weeks with the goal of learning more about all of the available support options.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I had myself fooled into thinking that I "had the problem licked" and that in such a short time, I had it all figured out.

Its something about the addictive mind, it always wants to figure out a way to keep indulging in what we do. It does not want to accept the fact that our mind and body is not capable of handling any mind altering stuff. We see this often at the correction facility. Inmates have been in-carcerated multiple times yet if we tell them they can't overcome addiction on their own, they have difficulty in accepting that fact. I see that you have reached a point where you have realized that you can't moderate and that total abstinence is the only option. There is always Alcoholics Anonymous open for people who are looking for a spiritual solution.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Hello All and Happy New Year to you.

I have had to overcome my feelings of being a bit of a hypocrite in order to reach out to you all but I know that this is really where I need to be, long-term, not just for a while. I had myself fooled into thinking that I "had the problem licked" and that in such a short time, I had it all figured out. I'm sure this is not the first time that you have seen this happen and it likely won't be the last. My last words on this forum (in late summer) announced that I was going back to school and that I would likely be "too busy" to check in on a regular basis. That was a big mistake and in a way, I feel like I abandoned some of the most important people in my life. I hope you will have me back, because I need you more than ever before.

I fell for the old, "now that I have successfully gone without, maybe I can moderate" trick. Now I'm back to my bad old ways and I am really disappointed in myself. I think about it now and realize that if I had turned to you, I would likely have made a better decision for myself. I will not give up though. I have set some goals and intend to succeed but I know that I must let alcohol go forever in order to do so. I have been able to maintain an A average at school despite my alcohol consumption but I've had to work much harder than I should in order to do this and it's not been as enjoyable as it could be. New learning is really difficult when the brain is foggy and depressed.

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