Wow, were to start...
The first thing I can think of is that I have been drinking everyday since I got divorced. I was very unhappy in that marriage, and I think my drinking started there. My ex-husband use to to try to tell me that I can't drink and tried to tell me what to do, Well, being the person I am, no one was going to tell me what to do. Our marriage had many more flaws before I started drinking, but since I am here.....
I recently started seeing a therapist. I am not too keen on going to AA, I am not religious and I also work crazy hours. She mentioned trying to find an online support group. So that is why I am here. I really hope this helps. I also Have a friend who is working the AA program, and I have found it helpful reaching out to her.
But I am here to stop hurting myself with alcohol. Once I start drinking, I can't stop. I drink when I am bored, I drink when i am stressed, I honestly just drink because I can. When I get sad or overwhelmed with life I drink. I drink way too much. I have gone to work some mornings feeling like complete ****. I have 2 wonderful kids, 12 and 9 in 2 weeks, and the 12 year old is not stupid. She is seeing whats going on right now with me and I need to make it better. My children are the main reason for this, but also myself, I am not use to putting myself first. But in this case I need too.
There is so much more I can say right now. But I don't want to make this too long. I feel like everything is out of control right now (another trigger) and I an just trying to find some support out there, It's so hard to try and find help, and at lease I have realizied there is a problem.
I would like to find some support and maybe another person I can call on when I have a bad day. It's hard for me to ask for help from my loved ones. No one here with me is going through any of this. I just want to make my like better for my kids and I.