I agree it is freeing to not crave alcohol. And it's freeing to be able to think about life and consider plans without the worry of hiding the booze or making sure you have enough to not run out. As I look back on my life deep in denial I am amazed that I had time to do anything besides feed my habit. It is all consuming---thoughts, actions....life. I feel sad sometimes that I missed those times in my families life. Meaning even if I was "there" with them, I wasn't "there". You mind is always churning for the craving. I believe that taking the herb kratom helped me with the first few weeks. I took it for a few months and then took a break from it as well. But, I was as committed to taking it as I was planning my drinking habit. Ultimately I stopped it when I felt I was at a good place with craving. So, Jessmess, that's something to look forward to for you, when you are at the place to move to the next step. It's so worth it to be able to live again. The longer you are away the harder it is to go back.