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How much to tell?

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Hi GarageCat.

I hid my consumption for a long time from friends and family. I hid it SO well that people didn't realize I had a problem until I told them I did. However, the person I am closest to (my boyfriend) did notice. How could he not? My behaviour and mood changed as a I drank and he was not a fan of some of those behaviours and moods.

We've been through a lot but as hard as it has been I've found that being open and honest has been most helpful. It's very comforting to realize that you can let your guard down and trust your loved one with your demons. It's also important to maintain boundaries, appreciate that relationship and not abuse their love and support. It can also be helpful to keep you accountable although many times it might just feel like your loved one is judging......

That has been my experience. I don't know you or your wife or anything about your relationship. All I do know is that secrets only delay the truth from coming out so the sooner you can find a healthy way to let her in (perhaps counselling), the sooner you may move on from this.

No pressure though! As Julie said...the sharing will come naturally at some point. Do whatever feels comfortable for you. Unless that means you'll just drink more ; )

Good luck and hope to hear from you!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Thanks for the reply Julie, I will wait until the time is better. I think my telling her I have a problem stopping was a little unsettling. It will be easier on both of us if I wait and tell her later.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Congratulations on your three days alcohol free Garagecat! In my situation, although my husband may not have known the exact quantity I drank at times because I tried to hide that, he certainly knew that I was drinking too much and that it was a problem. At the beginning, I focused my energies on staying sober and on myself because I felt pretty shaky about things. As time passed and I began to feel more confident, I began to share more. It seemed a natural progression for me. Best of luck as you start out on this journey. It does get easier!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Well no alcohol for 3 days! This is a first for me in a long time. My wife has been great and has asked me how I am doing but hasn't pressed the conversation. My question is this... Should I tell her I was sneaking beer into the home and that my consumption of beer was higher than she thought? The only way she can find out now is if she breaks trust and reads my journal or I tell her. I don't want to tell her because stopping is hard enough for me. Maybe I could tell her in a few months? After writing this I have decided to wait and tell her later, but posted this to get the opinions of others who may know better than myself.

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How much to tell?