Hi ND!
I’m a little surprised that your husband became angry. I was under the impression that he had gained a better understanding of your relationship with alcohol. We all know it is simply the nature of the beast to intrude upon our thoughts with the slightest provocation.
The first couple of weeks we are so determined since we are so incredibly sick of the cycle and possibly mortified with our last presentation. We go through the withdrawal, shore up our resolve and plow on through, certain we will never drink again. Then, we start to feel healthier, our last binge is tucked away in our long-term memory and we delude ourselves into thinking we’re ok now. We suddenly find ourselves toying with the idea that a few drinks with dinner would be nice or watching a movie with glass in hand would be oh so relaxing.
Problem is, it’s too soon. We haven’t habituated the non-drinking processes as of yet. The rewiring of our brain has a long way to go and our tolerance levels are still as high as ever. It has taken a long time for us to develop this maladaptive relationship with alcohol and it takes a long time to reinvent ourselves to the point where AV loses its impact.
Slamming AV down was just what you needed to do ND. The incessant poking that AV does will let up eventually once your brain normalizes. It’s screaming for a dopamine hit yet we are all very much aware that our tolerance levels are so high in early abstinence that we will black out and not even remember the “feeling fine” part should we even experience it. Remember that when AV acts up, that even if you do drink, you really will not enjoy it. So, what’s the point?
Stay strong ND, before you know it you’ll be relaxing on your wonderful cruise and sipping something refreshing.
Testing, testing!
TS