Hi Kez,
Your warm words have me overwhelmed! Thank you!
It’s always unnerving to read of the many dysfunctional family situations out there. Your mom was likely never taught how to manage her emotions, stress invoking situations or had an effective model to emulate. It is unfortunate that so many people lack the coping skills necessary to manage their lives effectively. I’ve often maintained that the school system fails society in that they do not teach the basic life skills like conflict resolution and redirection. Certainly the need is glaring and it escapes me why something so inherently important is overlooked.
Kez, despite your rocky formative years you’ve done so very well for yourself. You had the intestinal fortitude to complete an impressive education, find yourself a good job a wonderful partner and have a lovely child. Look at your offspring as an opportunity to be the type of parent you yourself have described and would have desired.
When the old fight or flight mechanism kicks in during stressful events its easy to understand that the natural response is to reach for something to calm you. I was terrified of and totally intimidated by my husbands family. They were perfect in every way (or so they told me).
Each one of us has a story as to why we are here. The common thread is “stress.” Clearly most of us are pro’s on maladaptive approaches. Perhaps we should devote more of our energy in learning how to proactively deal with all the various forms of stressors in our lives as Ashley mentioned. Maybe even start a thread under General Health and Well Being and see what happens.
