Hi Kez,
Be proud of yourself! In one night you did some significant rewiring. No pre party cocktail, no booze during and you held it together while being forced to endure the less than “motherly” antics executed by your confidant.
Offering a beer to a fourteen year old is irresponsible and illegal. Can’t imagine what was going through that woman’s mind…ridiculous! Glorifying inebriation is like singing the praises of stupidity because that’s what getting drunk is really about, paralyzing/killing brain cells and just getting stupid.
I suspect the reason that your confidant was so unsympathetic is because she saw herself in your concerns and didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that perhaps she too has a problem with alcohol. It makes people uncomfortable to examine something they enjoy as something they abuse to the point of being harmful. That’s maybe why she took the opposite approach. By offering a drink to a 14 year old she was attempting to demonstrate that alcohol is so harmless that a child can drink it. Her assertion that getting drunk is such fun, again, is an attempt to make alcohol appear to be simply an amusing and enjoyable distraction. She acknowledged your concerns Kez, she just didn’t want to deal with her own misgivings.
We start off with alcohol, a legal mind altering drug, in the hopes that it will relax us and that it will enhance our perception of enjoyment especially in stress provoking situations. True, that several drinks, may do just that. Unfortunately for many of us, it becomes a crutch and it eventually hobbles us.
Please never feel as though anything you post is too long. How else can you express yourself in a way that people will understand unless you explain your thoughts? Kez, you did well at the gathering and people do understand you. We understand you. Going against a family tide is difficult and finding your own comfort zone can be a trial. It does get easier though and with time your resolve will become second nature. Remember to cut yourself some slack though. If you do slip, move on as every alcohol free day does count.
We are here for you!
TS