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First days alcohol free

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

I am still here and following the debate and still wrestling with the challenge that I have been able to have a few drinks since my effort at complete abstinence and, on each of those occasions, did not keep going to extremes I was prone to in the past. I still think I am very vulnerable and definitely should NOT have a single drop ever. It is my family now that are keeping me in line with great love and support but if I am away from their caring monitoring I feel I could fall fast. I have not gone to AA although I have talked to some AA members. I am a radical secularist and somewhat put off by the redemptive religiosity and dogma I detect in the culture. However I am a pragmatist and will seek help from whoever seems able and willing to offer it. I will try a meeting. I think it is not fair or reasonable for my family to be my "buddy". Please don't use me as launching pad for a dogmatic discourse although you are free to have it of course. I feel all good intentions and the helpful spirit of this site and I am grateful. Best Ralph

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

So you think, just because I posted a quote substanciating his judgement that he can't moderate no more, caused him to stop posting here?

If I remember correctly, I said, its so true that some of us can never drink safely again and included this:

We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals usually brief were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.

I just commended his conclusion that abstinance is the way.

And the other gentlemen who lost his brother. I shared my personal experience that, I too lost my brother and that I am here because of the program of AA.

Everything comes out of experience and I look at the problem at higher severity level. Hey if he/she can find another way, I will be more than glad that it worked for them.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Foxman, There is absolutely nothing wrong with you sharing your thoughts and experiences with others here at AHC. As you know there are many available resources out there for problem drinkers to avail of. I don't think the members of this resource are against AA but we all have chosen AHC over AA, that's all, plain and simple. If one wanted to take the AA route, I would assume they would be on an AA site. To say that you are not going to share anything further with those established members of AHC, and just concentrate on newcomers with your promotion to AA, is like a Walmart greeter taking up residence at the front door of the local corner store. Have you given any thought to the fact those newcomers may have already decided they want something other that AA? Do it make you wonder why Ralph(who BTW started this post) and other recent newcomers are not posting anything further? Swig

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Again I will continue to share my experience. If you can't relate to what I share, you are free to do so. No one here is forcing anything on anyone. We are all adults here. And I don't mean to put down anyone here. Looks like you are all teaming up against AA. Which I am fine, we have seen this happen many a times and when the candidate eventually tries all the methods and surrenders, then they become more receptive to the principles.

I will for my part, not respond to any of your post anymore. I will just focus on new comers joining this board and if they stick around for few more posts and I see if they are struggling, then I will chime in.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Nice post TS. A very astute observation.

ND, thank you for the support :) You to TS....and Swig.

All the best,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Jake,

While I appreciate the sentiment these exchanges demonstrate that suggestion would only lead to confrontation based on my contemporary views on recovery. As I said earlier, I've had dialogues with AA members, not only as a group but individuals as well, you 2 included, and the rigidity of their views always circles back to a dismissive and and inflexible attitude based on the fact I quit drinking without the aid of the 12 steps. When I first quit I leaned on them as a resource and was told told to throw away all of the ideas that have been at the core of my success and ignore them in favor of the views of a 1930's medical doctor whose treatment protocol could only be described as middle-ages and experimental and a book written at the same time. Sharing my views and experiences only led to exchanges such as these, except magnified because I was one vs many, not 2. My subsequent research into the program and expanded knowledge would only fuel the existing disconnect. Thanks for the thought though.

All the best,,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

Hi ND,

You are right on with your perception. The way AA is presented is through a lot of Religious Dogma. The references made to the Big Book are peppered with mysterious phrases which, once examined are very ordinary affections. For example Spiritual Malady = Depression, Obsession = Addiction, Craving = Want, Peculiar Mental Twist = Wanting a drink due to the addiction, Higher Power = Unconditional Support from others and Strength from within or your own energy force.

So it’s easy to understand why people will reject such an affiliation when it’s cloaked in religious rhetoric. What it really comes down to is people helping people, reframing, rewiring, introspection and healing. Really, there is nothing mysterious about the program and yet far more palatable once the terminology is updated to reflect our current reality.

So, the left hand can stop slapping the right hand since they are far more effective when working together.

Just saying,

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Foxman and Jakelad,

Listen I respect where you both have come in your journey with alcohol and we all agree it's great to be AF. Here's what I feel....you are almost to the point of bullying Dave. As someone struggling with continued alcohol problems I'd be wry of going to another AA meeting because all the following of this exchange makes it seem like a religion rather than the help group it is. Please, please stop. I read where Dave asked you way early in the day to call a truce basically and yet it continues. I know we " don't have to read" all the posts but, isn't that the point of the site? Just saying...

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

Dave I mean this as a complete compliment. You would make an excellent member of aa. The principals that you have just wrote about is basically aa. I think if you gave it a shot you would be able to help many new comers. Would give you a chance to give away your knowledge. Sharing and helping new comers same as this site.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

If you can't fathom how I can achieve success based on my previous drinking history, that's ok because neither can the couple of friends I've made from AA either, who I might add don't ever behave in the way you guys do.

I totally do. As the book says, people have a awakening in various forms. And also it depends on how mangled/warped our mind gets due to our drinking. Perhaps your body/mind never reached that threshold the real alcoholics get to.

And am not sure about our behavior. If quoting from the big book is deemed bad behavior then I am guilty of it! Have a nice weekend my friend.

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