Hi Emma,
I can totally relate to your broken heart. My husband passed almost three years ago after a year long battle with cancer. It crushed me to the point that I started to really believe that it was ok to just drink myself to death. But, I came to the realization that no matter how you may think that you’re hurting no one but yourself, the reality is that there are people in your life, in my case my two sons, who care deeply. By destroying yourself, you slowly destroy a part of them.
This is my second run this year in my attempt to get alcohol out of my life. I remind myself of the many gifts of alcohol; weight gain, fuzziness, bad odor, a lighter wallet, the judgment of others, poor performance, self loathing and still I consider going back to it for celebratory occasions. Where do we get this idea to celebrate with poison? Moderating doesn’t work for me because inevitably I’d return (with a vengeance) to even worse drinking practices. It’s taken me a very long time to accept that alcohol cannot be a part of my life.
Perhaps once you achieve being AF for a few months you’ll recognize that just maybe your life is better without it all together. Please keep us posted and best of luck in achieving your goals.
TS
