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Too many bad days.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Hi NanaB,

Great work on not drinking! It sounds like you are doing great. When it comes to entertaining - this is tricky. We would normally say avoid high trigger situations like entertaining until you are more confident in your quit. If that is not possible check out the Emergency Coping Plan in the Education section. Know the plan and use it if you start to have bad cravings.

Let us know how you do!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 347

Nana,

I don't see that as a cop out at all. You should only tell people when you are ready, and you are not obligated to tell them at all. This is your battle not theirs. There were several post a few weeks back about this. I don't know if you have seen them or not but might be worth reading. I personally have only recently had conversation with my partner about my goal.

It sounds like you have another solid plan for tonight. Stay strong and remember how wonderful the morning will be. I use that thought myself to get me through the tough times. As for tomorrow, good idea for serving only what you don't like! You are right though, it sounds like it will be a challenge. Have a plan and know what a huge accomplishment it will be to AF so early in your battle in such tough circumstances.

I hope work out well for you. Keep us posted!

Lynn

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Thank you for asking, Lynn. Since I really only drink with dinner and throughout the evening, I haven't been planning much for my days, just my evenings. Tonight, I will keep busy - making a fruit crisp, washing company towels. My husband came home from a work trip with a head cold, so he won't be drinking. Company should be arriving around 11:00pm, and I certainly wouldn't want to be tipsy or smell like booze, so I feel pretty good about tonight.

Tomorrow will be more of a challenge. My parents, in their 70s, are coming for dinner since my son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter are visiting. My parents are big drinkers, especially cocktails. I'm only going to serve wine and beer as alcoholic options tomorrow, since it's very easy for me to say no to those. I'm going to have fruit infused spring water. I don't intend to get into a discussion with either my son or my parents about my intention to remain alcohol free. I think I'd prefer to address it when I have a little more time under my belt, and not with everyone there. Does that make sense, or does that wound like a cop out? I'd love to hear opinions and suggestions.

So tomorrow I'm going to stay busy playing with granddaughter, taking the family to the river bank, having a cookout tomorrow night. I feel strong. I know I want to feel as good tomorrow morning as I did this morning.

NanaB

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 347

Nana,

Congratulations on sticking with your plan. What is your plan for today?

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Good morning, friends. Much to my surprise, last night went well. I stuck to my spring water, the show I planned to watch, time outside with the dogs and browsing this site. I slept well, although I did wake up about 30 minutes before my alarm was scheduled to go off. The best thing is that I do not have a headache this morning. How nice! AND I feel good enough to go for a walk this morning.

I suspect it's going to be in my best interests to remember how terrible I felt yesterday, and how many really awful mornings I've had in the recent past.

This weekend brings out of town guests - my son, his wife and my granddaughter. They are not heavy drinkers. However my parents will be joining us for dinner tomorrow night, and they are. My husband drinks in moderation. I think the best solution will be to serve wine and beer. I don't care for either, and don't expect to have a problem saying "no". The best approach, I think, is to focus on how good it feels to be hangover free.

Any advice on entertaining is most welcome!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi NanaB,

Welcome to the site. Great decision to start the positive process of putting this behind you. Good plan on keeping your attention focused on something healthier than drinking. How was the evening for you? Drinking problems are progressive and drag us slowly into a place where we feel worse and worse until we really can't tolerate it anymore. Now that you've reached that point it's important to keep in mind recovery and healing is a progressive process as well however healing goes in the opposite direction. While the drinking is progressively negative and destructive.... abstinence is progressively positive and healing, both physically and mentally. At first it's difficult to keep this in mind first and we feel we're being dragged backwards so it's really important to stay focused on the first, day(s) and the first week. Drink lots of fluids, gets lots of vitamins, and if you are feeling really uncomfortable consult your(a) doctor. Life is so much more positive and fulfilling without living locked up in the prison of alcohol abuse. Post lots and expect a lot of positive support to help you through this challenge!

All the best Nana,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 347

I think we all are too familiar with those nightS but you have a plan, stick with it! If you need us we will be here. Keep is posted.

Lynn

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Thank you very much for the welcomes. Tonight is going to be interesting. Normally I would spend this time trying to maintain my buzz without going too far. Of course, I never really knew what was "too far" until the next morning. And I've been having many bad mornings. So tonight, it's going to be me, my spring water, and tv. And perhaps the book I've been meaning to start.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

Hi NanaB,

Really glad you decided to take the plunge and join us. The first few baby steps are always the most challenging. Since you have decided to completely abstain and given your current status, you may want to consult with your physician first just to be on the safe side if you haven’t already. You are right in that you do have a lot of work ahead of you especially for the first couple of weeks. Fortunately you will find a good deal of support here as I’m sure you have noticed already. One thing I’m doing is writing a progress blog to help keep me accountable. I find it really helps. I know you’re reading people’s posts and I urge you to continue every day, even several times a day if you can. Post often and get involved as it will help to keep your resolve and momentum going. As time passes you will become a pro at developing your own coping strategies and it will become second nature.

With a little effort (actually a lot) you can and will achieve all your goals NanaB. You’ve already conquered the first one.

(P.S. Ah, thanks mcaodha...I'm so glad we all have each other to rely on. Could never have done it alone.:)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 51

Welcome NanaB keep checking in and posting. look at how others have got through and are still trying to. You have come to the right site, so many positive people like Dave, Foxman, toxicsoul and many others have inspired me and still do. its great that you know what you want and thats a start so sending you the very best of luck, care and hope your way

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Too many bad days.