Loved your post on the dopamine effect! So true. I have lots of happy triggers that come along with lots of happy memories spent in the company of wine and great friends. Just looking in the fridge and seeing a bottle makes me want to pour a glass and settle in with an old friend.
Problem is, the wine part was overtaking the company part…I have been totally missing the point. The dopamine high can come from friends and spending time with my family and awesome partner, the wine is really just and accessory…
I really like your positive attitude. And "Thank you!" for the kind words. Much appreciated. It's really great to hear things went well for you last night. One of the challenges I have found is recognizing that getting caught up in the high of success can be as much of a catalyst to drink as anxiety in driving one's need to assert control through consuming alcohol. It's managing the extremes of our emotions because both can have the same effect in allowing us to justify drinking and de-rail our goals. The anticipation of success is a good example of the dopamine effect that is described in the other discussion thread. If we consider the dopamine spike, as outlined in the video, the spike occurs prior to actually consuming the alcohol, kind of the like the purchase of a lotto ticket. This is a documented fact and helps explain a lot of why we experience so many cravings. We've built up so many associations with managing our moods with drinking. Factor in all of the dysfunctional thinking habits and cognitive distortions we habitually use that go unnoticed because they are habits and it becomes easy to see how we can victimize ourselves with our own thinking. I'm not saying that is the case with you Jenn, I'm just speaking from experience and what others have shared. If you can keep from drinking a bottle (or 2) in a night, life should get much better.
I did really well last night, really proud of myself!
Just to be clear, my goal is not to quit; it is moderation. I have been very successful with this for long periods in the past. One or two glasses with friends is fine with me. My friends and family would never suspect how much I am capable of drinking as I don't show the effects (tolerance!)
In answer to my mental state, I definitely struggle with anxiety. Although it is very much under control, I think that the alcohol allows me to to chill without having to dig into my CBT toolbox :)
I will continue on my quest to stay under the suggested number of drinks acceptable for me…
Thanks for your continued support, you are a real gem and a help to many!
How did the rest of the day go for you yesterday? No doubt you're putting in a lot thought into quitting. It's quite amazing how that addictive voice will work against us until we begin to get control of it and find our space so we can heal and recover from the problem. Those excuses we come up with are endless. So what do you think will work for you? Have you tried the Toolbox here? Do you feel you suffer from a high degree of anxiety or depression? If you read your original intro below from July it's obvious that the drinking has become a huge problem and your justifications perpetuate it. They are excuses to rationalize your own demise. You really need to stop.
"it's only at night".......So? If it was 1 glass at dinner then perhaps maybe, but a "bottle of wine (or 2) a night" is incredibly bad for you, messes with your sleep, blood sugars, causes vitamin deficiencies, and worse, causes anxiety and depression, not to mention a hangover.
"nobody's ever told me to cut down"......actually, YOU have but what are your family's thoughts on the subject? What if you tell them how you are feeling?
Are there any resources available at your work that can help? There are resources available that speak specifically about dealing with this addictive voice you mention. You need to find what works for you. Some here on the site have found AVRT to be extremely helpful. Have you read anything on that? Others have found other forms of recovery to work. What have you tried so far?
Sigh, not been doing so well lately…I think I am most held back by my uncanny ability to justify: "it's only wine" "it's only at night" " nobody's ever told me to cut down", "I get up the next day and fulfil my duties as a mother and employee", "I rarely get drunk"….etc etc. Truth is though, I am harming myself…so perhaps this should be the motivation to shut down the justifications.
Day 3, AF! Feel great, face puffiness gone down…. Tonight AF as well, then off on vacay. My goal over the vacay is to really really appreciate the wine I drink. I have a hypnosis download that takes me through sipping a glass of wine then refusing to let the rest of the bottle "push me around" into drinking more. It's really good and the man has a very soothing Scottish accent, so it is a pleasure to listen to. I plan to listen to that on my iPod each afternoon.
Hope you are all well. Once I am more settled and established here, I will try to give back to others on the site.
Last night I was at a party from 8-3 in the morning. I averaged about 1 drink and hour…which is a lot total, but at least I had "water wedges" in between. At the end of the night I was happily chatting with the host while helping her clean up. I had a big glass of water and went to bed.
One thing joining this site has done is at least made me conscious of what I am consuming…it's a start.
Lynn is right. To be able to moderate your intake is a huge success. Shows you are just enjoying the taste of the wine. I absolutely could not have done that. Nursing one glass of wine for two hours would have frustrated me unless of course it was a huge glass lol. I certainly would have gone home and drank a bunch before going to bed. Just the way I am. If I can't drink enough to get a buzz I just rather not bother at all. To me, there are lots of things I can drink for enjoyment. Alcohol on the other hand is a means to an end for me. I sincerely hope for you continued success in your goal to moderate.
I personally don't see what you accomplished as a cop out. I had the same type of night. I allowed myself to enjoy the drink I like with friends. The difference was maintaining control and like you did not continue the destruction once I got home.
I think you an awesome job so early in your journey. Keep and up!
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