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Yes exactly Jakelad I am so sick if it all literally tired and exhgausted from the whole cycle. from having that first drink to wanting to party all night to most likely making a complete fool of myself one way or another . waking up with the big "oh crappp" and the what happened and the hoping it wasnt awful and all that . guilt , physically ill, self anger.....just sooooo exhausted from doing that to myself. i can no longer do it i also surrender.
That is great. honestly to yourself is so important. I tried to quit many times under pressure from others it was only when I gave in completely that I was able to surrender absolutely.
I do really want this so much. And yes I am doing it for me for the first time i am wanting to completely love myself enough not to do this to myself anymore and the only way to do do that is to not drink at all. I cannot .
i have said and done this before" i am no longer drinking" but in the back of my mind i kneew i would as i would think i can control my drinking . and well here i am and no i cannot. i am low and shamed. i am making a promise to you here and to myself and my family. I will not have a drop of alcohol.
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