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10 years ago 0 616 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi all..it's been a while since I posted.  I first want to congratulate everyone on your accomplishments, keep up the great work.  Lisa Dawn you should be so proud of yourself for getting through the wedding without drinking, when there was so much alcohol around you.  You deserve a huge hug for that.  Dave, starting month three is amazing, you're really strong and I think your posts are so helpful to all of us.  You have so much insight into this terrible habit and I always take away so much from what you say.  

Turquoise how are things going with you?  I hope all is well.  

I'm currently not drinking during the week.  I'm not able to make the decision to stop drinking altogether just yet, but I am not allowing myself to overindulge on the weekends either.  I feel this is step one for me in regaining my life.  Today I'm taking my daughter shopping in Michigan, I'm looking forward to having a nice day with her.  I plan to do either a late lunch or early dinner at a restaurant over there and already know I'll be ordering club soda.  Now my concern....my BFF wants to come over later on to visit and I know she's going to want a glass or two of wine.  I told her I plan to spend all day across the river and I'm hoping she doesn't just pop in this evening.  I know I won't drink with her, but I also don't want that added pressure of temptation when she's sitting in front of me having a drink.  I almost feel panicked at the moment.  
10 years ago 0 118 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
LisaDawn, I hear you and feel for you.  Hang in there.  We'll get through this together.  Drink lots of water.  Treat yourself to other food or beverages if it helps.  I think it will be important to find someone to talk to.  For me, this place is my biggest outlet on this subject; but I talk to my wife and one of my best friends about it too.  My father in law in visiting from across the country.  He is a big drinker and I wanted to explain to him why I had stopped because we enjoyed so many drinks together in the past.  He was understanding, then got drunk and was telling the waitress at our hotel that I'm on the wagon.  I didn't like that because it's my story to tell, not his.  He is 82 and a good guy and I love his daughter and there are far worse things than this -- to state the obvious.  Why am I writing this?  I'm off track.  You will feel so great to get through today LisaDawn.  Just keep postponing your decision about having a drink if it seems too hard to say no.  Continue to think about your daughter.  Log on here if you can.  You can do it.  John
10 years ago 0 55 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Day 6. The cravings came one after the other this evening when I watched tv with my daughter. I am sure they were always there but now that I am noticing them because I have to they are magnified. I think too in the evening it was almost euphoria at times because soon my daughter would go to bed and I could drink for a few hours. There was not the craving feeling because I certainly knew what was coming and that got my endorphins going I am sure. Badly but going. A few more hours to today and the wedding is tomorrow. My resolve is not great tonight so I am not thinking about that until the morning. I will have to rehearse that quite a bit. This has been my worse day yet and I am assuming it is because it is Friday. Drink plenty tonight and sleep in a bit in am. That was my usual Friday. Or be still tired from last night and hungover and decide to drink tomorrow night before it was here. All crazy. All illogical no rational thoughts that I never even thought twice about having. Just insane that those thoughts came and I thought it was all normal. I am hurting right now but I am going to get through tonight. That is all I can guarantee tonight. LisaDawn
10 years ago 0 1009 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Turquoise, what you does such an excellent job of giving us positive perspective on the journey forward. Thank you so much for that and well done on 68 days. I'm following your lead close behind and great to be walking the same path!

John, keep up the great work! Day 17 now is a real accomplishment. Keep going.

Best regards,


Dave
10 years ago 0 1009 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi LisaDawn,
 
I'm glad I could help! You're winning the war so don't even think otherwise. I really admire your resolve. You're setting a great example for me and those here to see what is possible. Great job! Don't even bother trying to project Forever into the picture. It's been 5 days and that seems like a long time because it is. We've conditioned ourselves to daily so to go from daily to never is a pretty black and white way to look at a challenge than spans such a broad spectrum. We wouldn't think to ourselves "I'm going to drink forever" because we would still have to do that one day at a time (plus, the thought of that makes you want to quit!). It's easy to imagine trying to drink forever because we intimately understand how bad our lives would be if we did but it's hard to comprehend NOT drinking forever because we seem to have so much invested into it. That's pretty sad when I think of it from that perspective, to have so much invested into something that brings so much anxiety and misery into my life. I really glad I can keep that to myself because it's embarrassing. The great thing is the positive investment in we make in ourselves by not drinking grows exponentially and allows us to really enjoy living our lives. Personally I feel like I've been released from a prison sentence. Now that I've tasted the freedom of living without drinking I don't want to go back.I hope this makes sense.......
 
Welcome to day 6 LisaDawn! Well Done! That's so awesome so keep fighting the good fight!
 
Best regards,
 
Dave
10 years ago 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You guys are all being so strong! LisaDawn making it through five days -- that's the hardest, we all know that first terrible couple of weeks too well! John on day 17 today (yay!), and Dave just shy of 2 months. I know that Splitimage is over 18 months non (wow!) and foxman is going on something like 7 years. The successes on this site are so important to read about. Over the summer, I saw successes from Charmain, Rob9, mizzysoleil, mamasita, and so many others. It is a huge help to me to keep reading this.
 
I have made it through 68 days sober. I decided to count it in days, because that somehow feels more powerful this morning. You know, it's a nice, big number. This has been a stressful and very busy week, and I probably went through 2 six-packs of diet Coke yesterday, but it's better than 2 six-packs of beer. I also ate more than I wanted to, but again, it's better than consuming an entire bottle of wine.
 
Dave is right, and avoiding alcohol as a daily habit does get easier. The thoughts still crop up, but less and less often. The mindless habit is broken. Instead of automatically reaching for a glass of wine, now I automatically reach for my soda. I do need to break my addiction to diet Coke, but not right now. That will come in its own time, and right now it's keeping me from alcohol. That is so much of the battle, right there. I know what you're saying about the constant thoughts that no one can see, but just acknowledging these thoughts is an essential part of being able to deal with them. And I know that a slip may happen. I hope it never does, but if so, I just hope I can keep it all in perspective.

Keep strong, guys... let's make it through another day.
10 years ago 0 118 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Keep going LisaDawn.  I too wonder if or when it will become easier.  Today is day 16 for me.  The only improvement is that I stopped having bad headaches each day.  I'm trying to lose some weight too and sometimes it's impossible to do both on the same day.  This was one of those days.  I tried to fast today but had to either eat or drink, so I ate.  I cannot imagine NEVER drinking again, so I just focus on today.  I'm trying hard to be mindful and present each day, and to do something for others when I feel like drinking.  Then eventually the urge or craving disappears for a while.  Focus on the present LisaDawn.  John
10 years ago 0 55 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Day 5 is almost done and I will not drink this evening. So many head games today. I have gone from just a break to quitting for good in my mind a thousand times. Just a break is there I am sure to comfort my mind as grasping forever is so unfathomable to my mind right now. I Am hanging in there but I have a good wall up right now to get me through. I am sure it will get better but I will take it day by day in handling that. I convinced myself again many times today that I had no problem. Yeah that's why I am here. Because I don't have a problem. Thank you Dave for the great words of encouragement first thing this am. It carried me today. I read your reply at least four times to keep reminding myself. These next few days really have to be one at a time. It has been maybe three years since I have gone more then seven days without drinking so these next few will be a biggie for me when I make it to Sunday. That is very scary to admit. That is a lot of drinking. I hope it will get easier but. For now I am going to bed. Thank you. Lisa Dawn
10 years ago 0 1009 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi LisaDawn,

Welcome to day 5! First off. let me just say you are doing great! Yes, I know, it doesn't feel like it but it will get better. That I can promise, just stick with it. The first week is tough because we feel there is a war going on, a battle of wills. I found I had to really think about what I was doing and where I was going ahead of time because of the influence certain situations had (and still have) on me. You really get to know yourself, that's for sure. Triggers seem to be everywhere you turn so planning and practice is paramount to success. Let's face it, it's not the  most comfortable situation saying "No" to yourself as well as not participating in the social situation of drinking. I felt unsure of the reaction I would get and was very uncomfortable about the prospect of having to explain myself. However, like worry, 99% of it was in my head because very few people care if you drink or not, although the couple across the street sure do but I've come to the conclusion that their drinking problem is much worse than mine. If fact I just saw the wife and the first thing she said to me was "Are you still leading the clean life?" in this suggestive, concerned tone, like she is inferring I'm not well with the flu or something. Quite annoying when you're in your pajama's and only been up for about 5 mins. Needless to say I don't bother with them much because our relationship of 4 years has been one of facilitating each others drinking.Then soon as I got rid of her I spilled salad all over the kitchen floor doing the re-cycling! The anxiety builds and I haven't even hit the traffic yet. Let me have a bloody coffee first before the head games start please!  (this is about the time I start laughing at myself). These stressors can be so common  and it's really important to step back, take a deep breath in and let it out slowly to the count of 4 while you re-group mentally Do that 4-5 times while you gather your thoughts. But I digress.......

They may big triggers to push you into drinking but look at them like they're triggers for shooting yourself in the foot, among other places. Ultimately shooting oneself is painful and not a good plan. It's been a while now since I stopped and I'm still faced with triggers, although less and less. I have one this weekend actually. I'm going away with my buddies to a cottage for an annual "end of season" ride. And beer will flow but I don't care. I've planned this out and worked through the situation many times because I like to practice. It's getting MUCH easier and it will for you too. This life experience is making you stronger so it's really important you push through this uncomfortable period. You're ready for this. You're just going to have to trust you are doing the right thing and have faith in yourself. 5 days is a fantastic start and you are on your way so keep up the great work! You can do this LisaDawn!

Best regards,

Dave
10 years ago 0 118 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
LisaDawn, hang in there.  I know what you mean when you say that you think about drinking all of the time.  Me too!  I'm struggling tonight too.  Tired, hungry, anxious -- I'm going to have something to eat, read in bed and fall asleep.  John

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