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Deciding when moderation doesn?t work.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

RE Stop sign,

Elizabeth, thank for the imagery. I thanked Turquoise (thank you Turquoise anyway :) ) but I reread it and noticed it was your post.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Turquoise,

I like the Stop Sign imagery. Excellent idea.

I sincerely hope everyone is doing well with their resolve to push forward with their challenges. I'm finding this time around to be a very enjoyable and empowering experience. As strange as that may sound I honestly feel positive about my decision and I'm embracing this opportunity to discover what brought me to this point. I'm sincerely grateful to have found this help center because it's making all the difference in the world for me right now and all of you here are an excellent source of support for me. For that I thank you. I feel positive and motivated moving forward and feel a sense of calm for the first time about quitting and while I work through the "Why" I got to this point. I feel comfortable with my decision and I really haven't had any internal battles with that annoying voice to abstain. On the weekend I was in my house and as I turned around I was faced with a half empty bottle of Jagermeister. It would have been easy, being by myself at the time, to grab it and have a drink but I just looked at it blankly and walked away. I asked later who it belonged to and just went back downstairs and poured it out.

One thing I've been giving a lot of thought to is how my personality type contributes to my desire to drink. Self-discovery is a wonderful thing! I'm glad I have this opportunity to get to know myself in a positive, accepting way. As I work through the process it's becoming clearer each day why I've found drinking to be what it is in my life. You know what they say, knowledge is power!

Best regards

Dave

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Turquoise wow you're doing amazing! Being in a situation where you are being the peacekeeper and still,abstaining is awesome. I'm so proud of you. I'm sure you'll do fine on your date night with the girlfriends. Enjoy your time with them by having a nice cold club soda with a twist of lime or zing it up a bit with some cranberry juice. Like Dave said, stick to your guns and enjoy your resolve. There is no pressure unless you put pressure on yourself.

My appliance decision has finally been made. I'm going to the furniture store tomorrow to pay for it and I'm excited. My husband was hoping we could get a bigger fridge but the space won't allow for it so I have to go with a fridge that's just a bit bigger than the one I have now. I tend to be a food hoarder and always buy too much at the grocery store...lol. I am converting from an electric range to a gas one and we decided to also replace the dishwasher since I'm getting stainless appliances and my current ones are white. It's definitely exciting.

As for how I'm doing with alcohol, I had a cousin sleepover last night, she's from another province and we are pretty close. We sat on my deck and drank a few drinks. I again had too many but tonight I'm abstaining. My husband is working until 10:00 tonight and my daughter is gone to the cottage with her grandparents. I'm home alone which is not a good thing, but I'm going to keep busy and possibly go shopping just so I can get out of the house. Enjoy your night with your friends, you'll do just fine I'm sure.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 161

Turquoise, wow!

I agree it's nice to get away to a house where there's no alcohol. That's what I did last weekend. But as you say, the family dynamics...

As Camiol was saying last week, it's drinking at home for me, not at a restaurant, so I'm hoping the best for your evening with your BFF's.

Dave, something that worked before for me-- a stop sign for that voice.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Turquoise,

Excellent work on the 15 days, especially while juggling the family dynamics. That can always be a challenge and one can get to the point where some relief is in order. That relief doesn't need to come from drinking but there's always that little voice, however loud or quiet, that tries to lead you down that road. Separate yourself from that voice. That voice isn't you. Somehow along the way, we seem to create associations in our head that lead us to believe there is actually a need to drink alcohol, just as we feel a need to drink water when we're really thirsty or have something to eat when we're really hungry. You have complete control over that voice and you can shut it down. That need is completely useless without YOU. It's subversive for sure but without YOU it is completely useless and inept. There really is no need for you to have a drink of alcohol because it serves no natural function for your body. It has no hands or feet, no mind, nothing. So it needs YOU to satisfy any sort of requirement. Shut it down and enjoy your time with your friends for what is really is, TIME WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Time is a precious commodity and so are your friends. They'll be fine if you choose to not drink because they are your FRIENDS and want to spend with YOU, not a bunch of glasses of wine. And I have news for you, there's about 10 billion bottles of wine on this planet on this planet and there's plenty more in the vat so don't worry about it running out. Stick to your guns and enjoy your resolve. There's no pressure. The only pressure you might feel is the pressure from that stupid voice rattling around in your head. It cares nothing for you but your friends DO.

Stick to your guns Turquoise. Relax into the fact that, in reality, YOU are the one in control.

Best regards,

Dave

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

I am having an interesting time. My H & I are in Denver with the kids for a family reunion, and the whole passel (my siblings, their kids) are staying at my mom's cramped house - one family per bedroom, and one camped out in the living room. Because of my personality, I'm the one who ends up (choosing!) to do a lot of "damage control" over the course of the week, as emotions flare, etc. You know - the whole family thing.... Fortunately, this side of my family gets along fairly well in general, and they aren't drinkers. (It's my dad's side that was alcoholic.) There is no alcohol in my mom's house, and never any mention of going out for a drink. Because of all that, drinking hasn't been an issue for me despite a few very high-stress moments. Now, tonight may be different. I am going out to dinner alone with my two BFFs from high school, at a place with an extensive wine list. At the moment (4am) I don't feel like it will be any sort of struggle, but we'll see how I feel after another day of juggling family politics... I am determined to have club soda, or a diet coke, at the worst.

It is great to read all the posts here. Elizabethrrr & Camiol, you both sound like things are fairly well under control, and so do Rob & Dave. Kathy123 & Cryptkeeper, how is it going? Camiol, did you ever get your new fridge?

15 days sober & counting!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 161

Hi Dave. When you asked, I was fine, then one night, like you, Camiol. Saturday night too much, but every other night has been no problem.

Turquoise, how was your weekend?

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Hi EliabethRRRR, I did end up drinking more than I wanted to. A good friend came over and we each drank a 750 ml bottle of wine. I had started on that bottle a while before she arrived and drank it over the course of about 4 hours. Her husband came over and we all went out for dinner a a very nice restaurant. I had two Caesars and decided it was time to stop after that. I wouldn't say I was loaded but I certainly had too much. How are you doing?

Dave you are doing great and you are very strong to be able to stick to your guns while others around you are still drinking. That is an accomplishment in itself. Good for you. Like Rob, I could only wish to have that kind of strength. Today I am attending our annual family BBQ and I'm going to remain controlled if I choose to have a drink. I'm at the debating point right now. Should I, shouldn't I? Because its my dads party I always remain controlled, he is not a drinker (1 or 2 beer at most) and he frowns upon people who drink too much.

I hope everyone is enjoying their day. Turquoise I hope to see you post soon, let us know how you're doing.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Thank you Rob, much appreciated. I really enjoyed my evening last night and, as I hoped, I started today refreshed and motivated. Every day is a new day and that's something to really look forward to without the burden of having a drink haunting me. Things will only get better and I know that is the case with everyone here. I'm finding it refreshing to exercise my own control over this situation. Mind you it takes a lot of thought and planning. This coming week I have to attend a wedding on the east coast and I'm meeting family and a lot of friends I haven't seen in a long time. No doubt there will be some serious drinking going on and I'll be on my own, so it would be quite easy to go on a tear and keep that to myself. However, I can tell you right now, I'll be an observer at the party and WILL NOT be drinking. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to re-enforce my own resolve and validating I have made the right decision.

While I'm sitting among the nuttiness of the party I'll be sending everyone here my good karma to help do the same.

Best regards

Dave

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 252

Dave,

your ability to not want a drink while all thoese around you are "working away" is very impressive. I wish I had half your resolve.

Rob

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Deciding when moderation doesn?t work.