EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Managing Drinking
Introduce Yourself
New to this site

Advanced Search Form

New to this site

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 36

18 days is a long time. That period is always the worst for me, well I think that it is, I have never made it past. It is always easy for me in the early days, as I notice profound changes in how i feel in the morning and lose the bloating etc. It is when the 'pink cloud' bursts that I struggle. I know just what you are feeling. Its like all this work and struggle, and this is it? Seriously, am I supposed to live like this forever? I hate that blank numb feeling, sometimes I think that I would rather have the hangover depression than the sad numbness. I can't speak from experience, but I am told that it passes. All that you can do, I suppose is make it through another day, and try to see the beauty in it and remember what motivated you to quit. You are making a huge step for yourself, and it takes a tremendous amount of strength and courage. Weather you feel happy about it now or not-I am happy for you and amazed at what you have accomplished.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

I didn't drink yesterday. That makes eighteen days. I'm going through some kind of weird funk right now, so I can't say I feel wonderful about it. I'm actually very emotional and teary this morning, and felt like that a lot of yesterday too. I haven't been sleeping well, and I know that's part of it. And part of me is saying "is this really worth it?" Some of the joy of life feels sucked out right now. Sigh. Anyway, I have very little time this morning, but it's good to hear from everyone. I keep telling myself that sober is a good thing; I can learn to have fun without alcohol. That feels very abstract right now.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 80

Finally heard from Camiol. Glad to know she is doing fine in her interview. Let's all wish her good luck.

Well, I am going to sleep too.

Good night Ladies and have sweet dreams.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Hello ladies.....I am sorry for taking so long to tell you how the interview went today, it's been a very busy evening. I think it went good, I got the impression that the interviewer liked my answers. If I did ok then there will be a second interview, but it will be about a week before I know anything. The thing about this job is that I'd get to work from home, this company is very accommodating that way. The company that I work for is actually a client of the company I interviewed for today, and I have alot of dealings with them. Hopefully that will also help me get this job. I would LOVE to work from home, that has always been my goal. So keep your fingers crossed that my feelings about the interview are correct and that I will get a call to interview again.

Yes Monica my husband is very strong and his fear of losing me and my daughter was his motivation to get treatment then wean off the methadone. I'm very proud of him for accomplishing such a huge goal. I admit though that I still always have that nagging fear that he's either using again or will use again. He swears he'd never want to go through that again, he literally thought the oxy was going to kill him. It probably would have if he didn't get help. He wasn't taking it to get high, he took it to not get sick. He hurt his back badly right after he started a new job 10 years ago and someone offered him some oxy to kill the pain. By the time the back pain was gone and he tried to stop taking the pills, it was too late, he was addicted. Very sad, but I've seen it happen to a lot of people in the company where I work.

Thank you all so much for thinking positive for me. I appreciate all your good vibes. I hope to send good vibes your way when you need it. I had three beer tonight, it was so excruciatingly hot here today that I just wanted to have beer. I dont feel guilty about it, I kept it under control and drank very slowly.

How did my American friends make out today? Turquoise did you enjoy yourself at the party? Hope a birthday celebration will be fine, you know your limits, just stick to them and you'll do great. BP, you are amazing me with your strength and determination. You inspire me.

Congrats on day 6 Monica.....knowing where you were just a few short days ago and where you are now, its a huge achievement. You should be very proud of your success so far.

Well girls I'm off to bed. I wish you all a good night. Thinking of each of you and wishing you everything you hope for. Until tomorrow....good night.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 80

Turquoise,

could you tell me how to upload the picture and the profile?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 80

Hi Camiol,

How about your interview. I read your posting in the office this morning and I didn't want to reply via my office server. Hope you're doing fine with it and get your new job. Sometimes people needs to have some changes and the new environment could distract from too concentrate in something, like we are trying to quit alcohol...

Tonight is my 5th night without brandy and I do not have the crave for even a sip. I think it is a good sign for me, and I am now trying to clean up the alcohol content inside mybody. I don't even have a glass of red wine too. But I will use red wine to taper off alcohol and I think I will have a little sip of red wine before I go to bed.

I have a lot of feeling when I read all the postings but my English is limited, anyway, I know we all ladies are supporting each other here. Yes, it seems a routline for me to loggin here everynight before sleep.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 36

Camiol, your husband must be a very strong man. I have seen the effects of opiate addiction and it is quite ugly. Isn't that such an odd thing with addiction. To ease your own suffering about your husbands addiction, you created one of your very own. I have often wondered if it not my own genes but rather an attempt to understand the power of addiction that spurned me on. I am thinking of you and wishing you the best with your interview. I sure that you will do splendidly, just remember if its not the one-its not the one for a reason and things will work out somehow.

Turquoise, congratulations on your continued sobriety. I live in the states as well, and am also facing this holiday with trepidation. However, I am trying to keep in mind how my last 4th of July's ended up; they did not have happy endings and all of them tied in with drinking. It is cloudy here this AM (though it will be nice in a few hours surely). Keep your symbols close and remember what they mean to you. It's a holiday, but it is also just another day. Dont have a drink right this second and see how that goes.

Hope-congratulations, you are doing an amazing thing. If you have a b-day drink, enjoy it and do it without guilt. I believe that guilt only makes us want to drink more to suffocate it. If you choose to drink, remember that you are making the choice, because you want to and not because it is beyond your control. Sip and savor it for its flavor, not for its 'medicinal' powers. You are not weak to have avoided the lunch with your co-worker, you are smart and taking control of what is the best thing for YOU. "If you keep going to the barber shop, eventually you are going to get a hair cut". Happy celebration to you.

I am on day six. Spent the evening last night on the couch watching great old German art house films (I could even focus on the subtitles through the whole movie). I am now sitting the kitchen table welcoming the day. I have finally recovered from my giant screw up at work and am back at it. I am editing an anthology right now and I am watching the clouds on the horizon, savoring my coffee and reading all this beautiful poetry from around the world that people have entrusted to me. What an honer to be alive this AM.

Happy Holiday to my US friends and best of luck to everyone this day.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

Camiol -- I will definitely be thinking about you today. Please let us know as soon as you can how the interview goes. This is certainly a perfect time to have yet another beginning to your life. I am wearing turquoise for two reasons today. First is to stay sober, and second is that I will think of you whenever I see/feel my earrings. They are a part of this whole help-each-other-stay-sober package. I know it would be fantastic for you to get out of your stressful job. Good luck, good luck, good luck.... Please let us know how you feel about the interview, and especially when you hear anything. I hope you get this job! And it's good to face up to some of the underlying issues involved in your drinking, like your husband's past addictive and dishonest behaviors. It's so hard to admit that even the most awesome people in our lives have their own weaknesses.

Hope, have a great time with your family, and enjoy your birthday. Remember, it's not really about abstinence; it's about not letting alcohol take over. It's impossible for me to go into a long day, like Camiol did with her golfing, and begin with "only one beer" and the entire afternoon stretching out in front of me. I would totally end up with 8 or 9 drinks in a situation like that. (Much like today's afternoon party). But going out for a time-limited dinner is slightly easier, perhaps. Make sure you have an entire glass (or two) of water in-between each drink, and that will help limit you. I was just about 40 when I first started being concerned about my level of drinking, although I had already been drinking too much at least since I was 38. So you are ahead of me! May it not take you twelve years of self-frustration to get this under control.

It is great to be able to look forward to this discussion. I am so ambivalent today; I just don't know what I am going to do. Talking about the likely consequences (like how a drink would probably lead to drinking all afternoon) really does help a little, in a negative sort of way. Yesterday was difficult, even after my strong start to the day -- I didn't drink, but it was very hard. Sigh. And today already feels like it's going to be much harder. I'm usually so strong first thing in the morning, but I'm tired today because my son had a friend sleep over and we were all up really late. I ate lots of pizza and ice cream and cookies along with them, because I was SO craving a nice beer or glass of wine. Then this morning I didn't get up early to go walking like I regularly have for the past two years (even hungover!!) so my energy level is very low. My husband got impatient last night with all the little-kid noise and excitement, and I finally encouraged him to go to our cousin's house nearby, where I know he drank something with them. He is trying very hard to not drink in front of me, but like so many of you, he doesn't go for the abstinence thing. I'm doing this by myself. No, I'm not - I'm doing this with the support of my wonderful forum friends.

My city is supposed to have serious thunderstorms this afternoon during the party, so we'll see. Not that I wouldn't mind an awesome display of natural fireworks. I love good monsoons, and that would make me happy.

I'm going to go have some coffee and put on my earrings.

Maybe that will help.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 51

Camiol,

I just read your post and wishing you the best (good luck, positive energy all of them) for the interview. Although I'm not having problems with my boss, my Y generation subordinates make me crazy all the time and I know vey well that a stressfull work day creates the motivaton to drink like hell. As a 13 years of recruiter, think positive, seem motivated and try to practice the common questions before the interview by yourself. And let me know how it went after the interview.

I spent another sober night yesterday and slept early. My parents, my aunt and my cousin came from another city today for my birthday tomorrow. We will have dinner at my house tonight (thanks god babysitter is preparing all the staff) and we will go out for dinner tomorrow. I'm not planning to drink tonight but I think (nearly sure) I'll drink tomorrow in birthday celebration dinner. Of course I'm planning to be controlled and have limited number of drinks. I will be 38 by the end of tomorrow :) and planning to be as wise as my friend Turquoise while hitting 50, by being sober and having live brain cells :))

Today, my drink partner collegue invited me for lunch out since I will not come to work tomorrow for my birthday. First I accepted, then I felt that I'm not strong enough to decline a drink for celebration, that's why I refused and told her we can go next week. I'm not sure if escaping is the right strategy but any way I stayed sober and I'm happy about it. I'm sure there will be the days I go out lunch and dont drink in the future, but I'm not ready now.

Monica your quitting experiences in your past should make you feel stronger... BP you are doing great according to your goal... Don't forget that we are with you and here to support each other.

Happy 4th of July American friends and Turquoise keep us posted how your pool party went..

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Happy 4th of July to my American friends! I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

Ladies I not only need your support to get my addiction under control, I also need you to send positive vibes and thoughts my way today. I have a job interview this afternoon and this would be my dream job. I've wanted to leave my current job for a long time because it's so stressful, and the lack of respect this employer has for its employees is a huge reason that I want to leave and why I'm always so angry on the job. So please think of me this afternoon, and keep positive thoughts.

Turquoise, how are you feeling about today? Are you prepared for the July 4th celebration? I am anxious to hear how you made out after the festivities are over. I hope the weather is cooperating for the pool party, and that you have a great time today.

Well off to work ladies.....another day of frustration. I try to keep my level of stress and frustration under control, but it's not easy. Every day I hope for a better day, maybe today will be the day. Wish me luck.

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

New to this site