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The Patchwork Quilt of Addiction

Timbo637

2025-06-29 5:59 PM

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What food is actually considered Healthy..?

Evolution

2025-03-03 11:17 AM

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Health Educators or Moderators missing?

Evolution

2025-03-03 11:16 AM

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Est- ce qu'il y a des forums actifs en franc¸ais ?

Timbo637

2025-02-20 12:27 PM

Quit Smoking Community

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12 years ago 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Monica, such wisdom. And this is why I already treasure all of you. I'm still not sure what I will do tonight, but it's an amazing feeling of freedom to have the knowledge that not a single one of you will judge me, no matter what I decide to do this evening. Wow.....
12 years ago 0 36 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You know, they say that relapse doesn't begin when we take that first sip but when the obsession begins. Turquoise, go to diner, enjoy yourself. Have an 'experiment' or don't but don't ruin the whole day and evening with the obsession. Just breath and take it minute by minute. I know that panicky feeling, like you've "screwed up" already, before you even get out the door. If you are anything like me anyway. Just try to have a nice date, and if you have a glass of wine, let it be that. Dont give it any more control.
 
I agree, I think you are the best. Who knew that whole talking to someone who understands thing is a big deal.
12 years ago 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hee hee, if only my husband could read this post! He would most surely approve.... Anyway, dessert sounds like a great alternative to drinking tonight. Grand Marnier souffle! Wine truffles! Tequila pecan pie! Kahlua ice cream!

Or maybe not. 

I too am not sure what makes this time different, but I have a growing feeling it might be you and Camiol and Hope and Black Pearl. I read Marylizy's starting-over post, and I encourage her to tap into this, and anyone else who might benefit. There is no such thing as a failure between us, merely an occasional experiment. Huh? You mean, the experiment turned out the same way this time as it did the last thousand times? Well, go figure....

Hope -- just the fact that you got back onto this forum right away means that you are a little bit stronger this time. And we are sending you strength every time we log on.

Dang - even with all the banter, I have to admit that I'm still considering very strongly trying to have a single glass of wine tonight. After all, I earned it (I know, I know, TMI). DAMMIT, IT'S AN EXPERIMENT! Aargh. I'm sure you ladies will be...almost...the first to know what I decide.
12 years ago 0 616 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wow....how ironic that the amethyst represents "sobriety",  "not drunken" when the amethyst is my birthstone.  I think I'll take that very seriously.  I do love my birthstone yet I never thought to look up the meaning of it. Thank you Turquoise for providing that information.  It makes my stone more inspirational to me and gives it so much more meaning to my life and helps me to better see how I've been leading it for the past two or three years.  

Monica thank you so much for saying such lovely things to me.  I feel blessed to have all of you in my life now.  I joined this site, created my own discussion and never thought much would happen with it.  It amazes me every day how it has blown up into this amazing conversation between some amazing women.  I truly believe our paths were meant to converge here.  Something beyond us brought us together, and I'm so grateful.  I feel that since we've been conversing I have become more accountable for my actions, that now if I screw up I need to let all of you know.  It seems to help me keep this habit under control.  When I have a drink, I'm thinking of you ladies and how strong you all are.  Thatmif youmcan contro it, then so should I. It helps me to stop drinking before it goes too far.  I hope in some small way that this discussion has changed all our lives.  All of you have become an important part of my life and I thank you.
12 years ago 0 36 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Oh and Turquoise-yes it is worth going out without the drink. Order the mist decadent desert on the menu, its probably the same amount of calories. If you have one, you have one and so what? But its also okay not to. Plus are you and your husband really planning on having sex, right there in the restaurant
12 years ago 0 36 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
First, Hope, do not beat yourself up. As we all know wallowing only makes it worse. Camiol is right, it will be brighter as the H/O wears off. I am in your camp, I cannot have a reasonable amount of alcohol. I wish I could, but I just can not. Abstinence is it for me. She is also right when she says that quitting is no joke. This is not my first 'quit'. I moved across the country to try to quit, twice. Heck, I had an intervention staged for me at a Rehab, by the staff, while I was checking someone else into the rehab-based on my sickly appearance, 'must be very near death'-is, I believe, what the nurse said. I don't know what's different this time, but something is. I am d*mn determined to make this the last time. But enough of my crap, you are doing fine, people stumble and sometimes fall. Its human, and you are human.  There is a blog (probably only useful to abstainers) that has some great info on the dreaded relapse http://www.whatwinnersdo.com/true-and-false-about-relapse/  So HOPE, take today, drink some tea, take some B vitamins (if you happen to have some pediasure around the house, drink it-sounds crazy but I will always swear it is the best for hangovers),  lock yourself in the bathroom periodically and cry and whatever else you have to do but don't be angry at yourself. Haven't you already wasted enough time telling yourself how awful you are? Where has that gotten any of us?
 
BP-you are an inspiration you are doing so well. I am in awe at you ability to do what you are doing, and I am so proud of you for being able to know that you need to make this choice in your life. I am here for you too, together we can take these tiny steps towards being who and what we deserve to be-anything you need-you ask, and I will do my best to deliver. I know that you are without children etc., as I am. We can be accountable to each other here. Also you English is great. I dearly wish I spoke any other language as well. I am glad you found out how to upload you pic. Looking at that little bunny makes me smile
 
Turquoise-I too have the tendency to veer away from anything not strongly rooted in science. But I think there is a fine line. I am trying to learn how to believe in magic again (however stupid that sounds). If turquoise brings you strength and stabilizes you then it is science based because it is working.  Even Dawkins and Tyson admit that there is a tiny wisp of science in the placebo effect. You will make it to the three week mark. Did you know that the gestation period for shrews, door-mice and gerbils is are 21 days? That means that whole new little creatures that did not exist when you took your last drink will be in the world when you get your next piece of Turquoise. Its a long time, and a big deal, depending on how you choose to see it.
 
Camiol-Good for you. Three drinks, wow, that is the mystical healthy drinking I have heard so much about. I am proud of you for having that self control.  You were able to quit smoking. People have said that smoking is as addictive as heroin. I am amazed by your positive view on this. You will achieve whatever goals you set. And thank you for bringing us all together here. You may have just saved some lives, who knows?
 
 

12 years ago 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hope, it sounds like your day yesterday was very much like my Father's Day a couple of weeks ago. An afternoon and evening of constant drinking, followed by a long, hungover day, for the zillionteenth time. I was doing that - and regretting it - when I turned 38 and still doing it when I turned 48. As I get close to my 50th, I'm finally so fed up with the same old predictable pattern that I think I might be convinced. How many failures does it take to believe that it will always fail? Every day is still a struggle. Tonight I have a date with my husband, and I'm honestly debating "shall I have one glass of wine?" Can I? I don't know. Is it worth it to even go out on a date WITHOUT drinking? I also don't know. Maybe I can. Maybe it will eventually be just as nice.

I do feel better and more positive today. I made it through July 4th without drinking (which doesn't feel quite like the whoop-it-up success I was anticipating) but I am happy about it. I slept well last night, and I am taking my kids to a nearby touristy cave/caverns to explore for the day. This coming Sunday, if I make it through my third week, I will treat myself to another piece of turquoise (even "manufactured" turquoise) as a special reward for making it through the entire week, including the 4th.

It's weird, but the turquoise thing is actually giving me a surprising amount of strength. I am very scientifically grounded, but I also have some psychology in my background, so I do understand why something like this can work. It gives me something specific I can use to focus on my goal when I feel ambivalent and weak, and I think it's helping. As arbitrary as the labels are, I decided to look up the "meanings" of different gemstones. Yeah, there are as many different meanings as different websites.  But even if the labels are arbitrary, it's cool to have something as a reminder for important things. And I also found out that the stone "amethyst" is derived from the Greek word "amethystos" which literally means "not drunken" or "sober!" So, here's my contribution for the day, that might help you all focus on what is important in your own recovery:
  • readiness for action: amethyst, fire opal, turquoise
  • new beginnings: garnet
  • creativity: amber, garnet, tourmaline
  • unfinished business: aquamarine, carnelian
  • honesty: turquoise, pearl, onyx
  • solving difficulties: carnelian, garnet, smokey quartz, tiger eye
  • goal setting: labradorite, lepidolite
  • sobriety: amethyst
  • intuition: amethyst, moonstone, turquoise
  • luck: agate, amber, garnet, malachite, moonstone, sunstone, turquoise
  • increase motivation: amber
  • order and control: aquamarine
  • positive attitude: malachite, topaz, sunstone
  • protection: agate, smokey quartz, tiger eye, turquoise, tourmaline
  • self-confidence: garnet, topaz, sunstone
  • stamina: aquamarine, garnet, red jasper
  • logical thinking: agate, tourmaline
12 years ago 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hope, I'm not into the AA thing at all, but one motto of theirs that IS really powerful is "One Day At A Time." Today is a new day, and as I said to Camiol last week, today you are starting from a position of greater wisdom. That is okay. I have been in your position so many times I can't possibly count. Today is the beginning of day 19, and I am feeling better today. I actually got some sleep last night -- what a difference that makes. Anyway, not much time right now, but I'll come back in a bit. 
12 years ago 0 325 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Don't be so hard on YOU....You are human and trying. We all do the best we can...Keep strong. I have just started back on this journey again...
12 years ago 0 616 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hope don't beat yourself up for over indulging, it happened and now you can move on from it.  You did not fail, it was a setback.  You knew you were going to have drinks to celebrate your birthday, and so you had too many, it's something to learn from.  We all know far too well how a hangover can make us feel depressed, but when the hangover fades, you'll see things much clearer.  You'll start today with a clean slate and a new day of sobriety.  I've learned that trying to quit an addiction is extremely difficult and I'm not sure if you've tried to quit in the past, but I think it takes several times before success.  I doubt that most people are able to overcome an addiction the first time they decide to get sober.  This is my first time trying to quit and so far I'm not doing so great at it, but I have got it somewhat under control for the weekdays.  The weekends are still a huge challenge.  I know when I quit smoking it took at least 7 attempts before I was successful.  It's been  almost 6 months now, and this time I can say I'm done for good.  So dont hate yourself for drinking too much, you'll pick yourself up and try again.  We are all here to help however we can.  

Turquoise how is your mood today?  Are you feeling less sad?  I hope you are able to see through the fog and enjoy your day.  I assume your vacation time is coming to an end this weekend?  Hopefully you can do some fun things with the family.  I am off work again today and I hope to get things done outdoors as long as the humidity isn't as brutal as it has been this week.  My best friend (drinking buddy) is away on vacation this week, I'm hoping that will help me to curb my drinking this weekend.  

Ok I think I hear my daughter waking up.





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