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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 325

Thank you Camiol. It is so great to get on here and have support from friends who understand the struggle.

You are the lucky one who has a life, family and work is just the means to support yourself not all that there is. The manager is a sad person if all he has is work. Keep your head about you, do your work but stand up for yourself...Have a wonderful day...

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Marylizy you're doing great. 7 days is a huge accomplishment, and I need to get myself back on track and get my drinking under control. I had another 3 glasses of wine last night and a mixed drink. I did get a buzz this time and I feel I went overboard. I had to do some work from home so I did have to slow it down, but I probably would have lost all control if I didn't have to work.

Turquoise thanks for wishing the best for me. I still haven't heard anything but I'm still hopeful for now. The boss I was referring to is not my supervisor, but our dept manager. He is all about the company. He has no life, the corporation is his life, so he thinks everyone should feel the same way. My family and private life comes first, not my job, and he doesn't agree with how I feel. There is some head butting over that.

Well I must get ready for work.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 325

Thanks,,,it feels good to actually make it 7 days sober. It has been a very long time since that has happened..I found my self starting earlier and earlier each day and then passing out earlier and earlier each evening. Not a nice place to be so I am happy to say I have changed that.

I love your experiment...I hope you have a good breathalyzer as some of them give erratic readings, I had one that jumped from .01 to.05 and back again...really frustrating...but it is a great tool to have. Good luck...have a great evening and I look forward to hearing from every one tomorrow...

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

Camiol, I am so sorry to hear about your nasty supervisor. I had a supervisor like that quite a few years ago, and I finally walked out of the job -- and then she STALKED me by phone for several days until I finally reported her! Good luck, good luck, good luck on your potential new job!

Marylizy, congratulations on making it to day 7!! The first week is so hard....every single time. And vodka is so tricky. It's the trickiest of any of them, IMO, because the alcohol flavor disappears into the drink. I'm fairly lucky in that hard alcohol gives me headaches as often as it gives me a buzz, so I've generally avoided it.

So here's my latest confession: I am planning to do another experiment on Friday. In the past three and a half weeks -- with the help of all of you -- I've had only a single glass of wine. I have to say that the daily cravings are getting a lot better as I've gotten out of the habit of starting at 4pm and continuing all evening. I have no alcohol in the house, and I know that is a key factor for me. But I also know that the main reason I drink too much is that I REALLY enjoy the buzz I get, particularly from wine. I think that Camiol and Hope (and probably the rest of you) have similar issues with this.

After reading that little explanation about "the buzz" that I shared a couple of days ago, I've been doing some research, and this evidence is repeated in many websites. The "optimal buzz" happens only if your BAC is between .05 and .07. (For regular heavy drinkers the BAC is slightly higher because of increased tolerance, but the buzz is fainter and doesn't last as long). Some sites say that it always lasts only half an hour or so, and other sites insist that you can keep it going longer. But they all agree that once you get above about .07, the buzz goes away and can't be retrieved until you've been sober for at least 24 hours. This all has to do with the chemical opioid receptors in your brain. The websites that I looked into made a lot of scientific sense. Fortunately, this is also considered a very healthy level of alcohol consumption, particularly if you limit yourself to 9 drinks total per week.

So... I am going to focus on getting my buzz this Friday and holding on to it, because, after all, I've earned it

. I am taking a breathalyzer (I ordered it online) with me when I go out to dinner with my husband. I will test myself before and after I drink ANYTHING, so that I can see exactly how much red wine it takes for me to stay between .05 and .07. I'm guessing one regular-sized glass of wine per hour (ish). I'm going to keep monitoring the BAC and "the buzz" throughout the evening. I'll be sure and let you all know how it turns out.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Does anyone else have a boss that as big an a$$ as mine?!?! Seriously I can't believe that I haven't just walked off the job yet. I try with all my heart each day to try to make it a better day, but that goofball has a special way of totally screwing it up. No freakin wonder why I drink. My cousin emailed me this morning and she is convinced that I am going to get a call today from that other job. I have my doubts but she is keeping the faith. I pray she's right.

So again tonight I will be struggling not to drink! And I'm sure I'll be bringing work home again tonight. Turquoise I'm sorry that my attitude went down the crapper from this morning, but it's nice to see you keeping a positive spirit and you're the reason why I'm going to try to abstain tonight.

Well I must run back to the job from hell. On the upside, my cleaning ladies come today, so I'll return home tonight to a clean house. That's my one happy thing today.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

It is so nice to wake up to such positive attitudes. It puts me in the right mood for the day. I have gained back my three pounds plus one,

so my goal for today is to try and eat as if I'm a mature, slender, athletic woman and not a frustrated alcoholic. If this whole thing really gets me gaining weight, I'm afraid of what that will do to my motivation. I finally found some club soda last night, but it was hard to find. It wasn't with the rest of the sodas at the supermarket; it was with the alcohol mixers, and it was far more expensive than diet Coke. I may stop shopping at that supermarket just for that reason. IMO, that's really stupid.

I also found out that my favorite beer-and-pizza joint, that my husband and I have been going to regularly for sixteen years, is closing its doors at the end of this month. While I'm not too sad about that (I can totally do without beer and pizza these days), my husband says that we need to go there as often as we can before it closes. Yeah, he's right. I mean we're friends with the owner and the pizza is truly awesome. But it's going to make the next few weeks that much harder. Whine, whine, whine. I know, ladies. These are luxury problems, and I'm embarrassed to even complain about them. So my rant is over and I'll grow up now.

I am starting out my morning with a long walk with my cousin as the sun comes up. I live in the desert, which is so beautiful at sunrise this time of year. It is the best attitude adjustment I could ask for. Have a beautiful day, and I look forward to hearing from you later today.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Good morning everyone...sorry for the confusion BP, Never quit quitting is a play on words. For me it means never give up on kicking a bad habit. It got me through quitting smoking and it's going to get me through kicking this habit too. I'm proud that I only had three glasses of wine in over four hours. I usually drink a whole bottle when I drink wine.

Today is a new day and hopefully work is better. I want to get through a week without having so much stress in my life that I drink to calm it down. It's very frustrating. Thank you all for your support and kind words, you are a wonderful group of friends. Im off to work now, fingers crossed I don't have a rotten day. Will check in at lunch time.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 325

Morning,
I agree, I love never quit quitting, it is like never give up. A good slogan. Just interpret it the right way...I love my beer but it does go down like water and the calories are tremendous....I also like the idea of buying the cheaper wine. When it tastes bad you will not want to drink it thus cut back...Vodka is my problem. It tastes so good with cranberry or grapefruit you kind of don't even know it is there. On the good side, today is day 7 for me and I actually have no desire what so ever to have a drink. 99 % of this is in my head. I honestly believe that if you just keep telling yourself how much better off you will be without drinking it can work on the cravings and desires. Oh, another thought. Diet sodas are terrible. I like club soda and juice, way diluted. Cuts calories and sugar cravings...Love all you ladies. Have a great day and "never quit quitting"

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 51

Hi friends, last night is OK for me, I just had one glass of wine with lots of food !! and left 1/3 in the glass while leaving the restaurant. So everything is fine this morning..

BP I always loved the taste of beer and have been drinking it more then 15 years.. But I agree Turquoise that the problem with beer is since it is low in alcohol and easy to drink, I drink it like water.. ie 5 in 2 hours. It is better you stick to wine and have 1 in two hours with cheese and grapes.. etc.. I also love wine but once I open a bottle, I didnt stop before finishing it.. and it is too much even for me.. I'm very proud of you that you are very controlled as you intend to..

Camiol I understand how you feel about work, and congratulations having a controlled wine night after a terrible day. Today is a new day.. pls check in and share your feelings when you feel exhausted. We are all here to support you. Dont let Murphy ruin your day :)

Turquoise I tried to feel the buzz yesterday with wine, and it was really nice.. it passed in 30 minutes and when my stomach was full, I had no intention to drink more.. thanks for the information..

Monica, how are you doing? Let us know..

Jessica & Marylizy I'm inspired by your posts..it's very good to have such an emphatic group of people around while trying to quit..I feel very lucky to find this website..

Have nice day all..

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

And, by the way, I love "Never quit quitting." (BP, what Camiol means is that she is not a quitter, and will never quit trying to quit drinking too much, even if she has occasional rough days like today.) Wordplay somehow makes this easier sometimes, doesn't it?

Also, BP, my advice is to avoid beer altogether. It's way to easy to chug a lot of beer, in a way that you can't really do with wine. If your wine program is working for you, you should stick with that for now. And honestly, if you are really trying to eventually cut back to nothing, I would recommend getting cheaper and cheaper wines that don't taste good to you. Get through the withdrawals that way, without developing a new addiction because you like the taste.

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