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I?m making progress

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

The lessons I have learned include but as not limited to the following:

-I will need ongoing support and professional therapy to remain sober, and resolve the underlying issues which lead me to abuse substances.

-With the right people and the right knowledge behind me I can learn to fill my time and my life with people and activities that do NOT include substances of any kind

-I cannot allow myself to be in the company of others drinkers while they are drinking because on my own I am not strong enough to say now at this stage

These lessons will help me to get into the right situations while avoiding situations that could potentially be harmful to my cause. Tonight I'm home alone drinking non-alcohol beer I picked up with dinner at the supermarket. I thought I might have a beer with my bf over dinner, but he has decided to go out to buy drugs.... I expect him home sometime after 9 pm, likely wasted....

Aside from that stupidity... I'm REALLY excited about my orientation tomorrow morning at the Womens Program I applied to, and following that I'm interviewing for that Sober Living apartment complex I applied to. Then off to work, ... I have to be done and across town by 5 pm to pick him up from work so he doesn't figure out any of my plans... (he still does not know I'm getting sober or that I'm planning to leave ASAP... I thought it was safer to not rock the boat... )

I hope everyone else is having a Super Fantastic Day... :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 270

Jessica30,

Welcome to the boards and congrats on making the decision to focus on your health! Glad to learn you're on your 3rd day sober and that you're determined to make better decisions going forward.

How can the lessons you've learned so far be put to use to increase your chances of maintaining your healthy behaviour change this time around?

Please let us know.

Sonia

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 272

Hi Jessica30.

Congratulations on starting the women's outpatient program - I hope that you find it helpful. I've done outpatient rehab a few times and found it really helpful.

I'm currently living in a sober living residence myself, and while it was quite an adjustment to go from having my own place to sharing a building with 29 other women, it's been a good decision and is definitely helping me to stay sober.

splitimage

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 80

Hi Jessica30, if you have the determination, you will reach it. You will not struggle alone, post here whenever you have time, Camiol's thread is very supportive and wish you could join the thread.

Wish you all the best for your determination, and tell us how you've been doing with your outpatient program.

Black Pearl

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Hello groupies :)

Today I got a plan in motion. I'm registered for a woman's outpatient program which begins Tuesday. The wheels are in motion to get me moved into a supportive living building with other similar women (with some helpful restrictions on over night guests and alcohol etc). I hope that these restrictions will give me the time I need to focus on my own behaviour and my own emotional health in order to fully recover, or at least become strong enough to sustain regular life. And I'm happy to report that I'm on my 3rd day sober again.....

I know 3 days does not sound like much, but after the week i had, partying downtown over the weekend, and perhaps over celebrating with alcohol and drugs, I'm glad that the relapse was not as bad as it could have been. Strangely I was hit on by a woman in a bar during Pride weekend... and her pick up line was... ' wanna do a line?' ... so I promptly asked her if that ever actually works... then proceeded to do the drugs... I'm sure my brain was just soft from all the bud light limes/canadians/keiths I had in me at that stage .. I'm not proud of my behaviour, but I have learned that it is clearly too soon for me to go out to bars with people who are drinking (ie my bf) and expect to not bend under the pressure to drink.

I'm presently sitting at home enjoying one of those 'crystal light' margarita flavoured drinks, and contemplating busting into the non alcoholic wine in the fridge. Sadly my bf did bring home some coolers and a case of beer which I am trying to discreetly avoid. Getting healthy would be and will be so much easier when I'm on my own. Looking forward to it. He is just soooo oblivious to my struggle. He is so self involved that I think I could probably be drowning in a beer can and he would not see it happening... It is frustrating in a very big way, but the more I see this and the more I recognize that he is NOT with me in my struggle, the easier it is to see myself doing it successfully on my own.

I know this looks like a lot of whining, but I'm truly viewing this as a victory because although I did a bunch of stupid crap, I learned a lot of important lessons and made some great progress toward getting the professional help that I'm convinced I will need in order to recover.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story :)

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