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12 years ago 0 73 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It's definitely a hurdle.  I felt just like you do.  My then-husband went with me to my first meeting.  He didn't come in with me, but he got me to the door.  Then he went to an al-anon meeting in another room.  I felt welcomed and included. It was in a big city, so I didn't see anyone I know.  But remember that if you do see someone you know it will be a kindred spirit who knows exactly what you're going through and, yes, must respect your anonymity.  I didn't speak at all except to introduce myself, and that was fine.  The stories people shared were heartbreaking and inspiring.
12 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
This is an anonymous program, they are suppose to safeguard the anonymity of every member. And you don't have to say a word. After the meetings some women may introduced themselves.  Again you are not obligated to do anything. At the beginning of the meeting they may ask if anyone is attending their first meeting. Usually if there is a new-comer the meeting tend to be around the "powerlessness and the un-manageability', so you could identify with the others.

12 years ago 0 171 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for your encouragement.  I am so scared about going into a meeting for the first time.  What if see someone I know, or someone expects me to say something?  I don't know what to expect.  I'd be interested in hearing about how others have gotten the courage to walk through the doors for the first time.
 
Athena
12 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Athena,
   On my blog there is a workshop that walks you through the big book. You listen to the chapters Doctors Opinion, More about Alcoholism and There is a Solution chapters for now. It will keep you going.

Good luck.

12 years ago 0 73 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Athena, I think AA is a great idea.  It will provide the support and structure you need until February 29.  If you live in an area where there are lots of options for meetings, try out a few if you don't find a good fit right away.  I also want to comment on the fact that you have young children.  I know there are several others out there in the same situation.  When my kids were little, I loved them dearly, but that's when my drinking picked up--especially in the evening.  By then, well, I really needed a break.  Being a mom of little kids is stressful, especially when you're new to it.  Plus, as lovely as they are, kids just aren't at our developmental level and hours of playing kids games, fixing kids meals, arranging schedules, dealing with tantrums, etc., can get a bit mind-numbing if it isn't your calling.  We all need adult stimulation.  So be sure to arrange some relief and take some time just for you.
12 years ago 0 171 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks Foxman, I have been reading more about AA and I think that I have to find somwhere that I can speak openly about this and not be judged.  I know that attending local meetings is part of the expectation for the treatment program I am looking at.  I need to keep an open mind because I am becoming increasingly aware that my current beliefs and coping strategies are really not working for me and they haven't been for years.  It was very comforting to see so many familiar people here after being away for so long.
 
Thanks for your encouragemet Ashley.  I have been writing in my blog as honestly as I can about how badly I have felt in the past few months.  I want to be sure that I can remember when I get to that point when I start rationalizing things and begin to think I don't need the treatment program or that I can handle just one drink.  If I didn't have young children, I think I would probably stick up notes to myself all around the house to help me remember - but it would probably be hard to explain.  Maybe I can find a way to put up some inspirational sayings that will have some meaning to me that isn't so obvious to others.  On my computer at work, I have a note that says "be optimistic - it feels better".  Do you have any good, short messages or sayings?
 
Today is day two.  I went to the hospital and filled out some paperwork and made an appointment for the information session for the concurrent disorders program.  It's not until February 29th.  I am worried about coping until then.
12 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Athena,
  Hope you are doing good. You may also want to check out local AA meetings around your area. If you are shy going to a meeting, you can call the local AAs Hot-line and talk to some women there who will be glad to visit your home and share their experience strength and hope and then take to a meeting that you are comfortable with. Please give AA a chance.
12 years ago 0 11216 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Athena,
 
Thank you for your honesty. I am very moved by your strength. I think the treatment you have planned sounds like a good fit for you and your family. Once you successfully complete treatment and successfully abstain from alcohol. How do you think you will look back this time. What do you think is the important learning in this experience?
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 171 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi everyone,
 
I had a good month in July and then everything started to spiral downhill again. I don't think that I have been so low and discouraged since I was in my teens.  I am not functioning well at home or at work and I really don't have any social life.  The past two weeks I have come unravelled and hurt people that I love very badly.  I can't hide anymore.  I'm not fooling anyone.
 
I have decided that I need to get into a day treatment program for concurrent disorders.  I know I need treatment but I don't want to dissappear from my children's lives with no explanation so residential treatment is not an option.  I have called for information and tomorrow I am going to go and pick up the forms to start the process.  I have told my doctor and my therapist - but no one else yet.  That's why I have come back here.  I need to start being honest and I know that here I will not be judged
 
Today was the first day in six months that I have not had a drink. Tomorrow will be the second.
 
Athena

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