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Really having to fight the urges right now. Not sure why. Will try to get through today. Maybe a decaf and wander aimlessly through a large mall. Trying to get back on my diet and resume daily exercise too with partial success.
So sorry to hear about your loss. Good for you for deciding not to drink right now. Getting back to routine will help but also be sure you give yourself the time you need to mourn.
I am so sorry to hear about your mother's death. Don't be hard on yourself if you have not been able to be "disciplined" about your drinking. Can you think of other ways to deal with the pain? One of the things that I am learning is that the more you to try and avoid painful feelings, the more intense and overwhelming they become. Numbing them with alcohol is a very temporary fix that only makes things worse in the long run. Are you able to use your siblings for support? Are there any other people that can support you?
More stress. Elderly mother's death is imminent. Keeping watch. At least I am here with my siblings. I should be OK. At least I don't have a car so buying anything in a weak moment would be very, very difficult. At least siblings don't drink much.
Thank you so much for the inspiration. It is so easy to believe that when you screw up - you are right back to square one. You are living proof that it can be ten steps forward, one step back and then moving forward again. Thank you for sharing your experience!
How will you be celebrating this success this weekend? If celebrating is a loaded word for you try, how will you be present to your success this weekend?
Well after 4 1/2 months alcohol free, messed up for twelve days while on vacation (had nothing to do with "just relaxing" - just old habits reacting to a situation), straightened out for the last two days of vacation and now finishing day 12 return to alcohol free. The screw up is feeling like a distant memory and now feels just like the months before that time. Feeling good again to be back on track.
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