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Did I do the right thing?


14 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Lind,
 
Great question! First of all, it can be tough for a loved one to know how they can be helpful supporting someone trying to cut back. Your husbands actions certainly come from a place of love, this I am sure you already know.
 
Before approaching your husband consider this; how would you like your husband to support you? How can you include him in this change in lifestyle? What do you need?
 
Once you have this figured out take some time and tell him!  Let him know that quitting or cutting back alcohol is a personal decision and in order for you to be successful it has to come from you.  Quitting for others just doesn't work.  In addition pressure and judgement does not work as well; in fact, it can actually make things worse. Maybe you would appreciate including him in celebrating successes when you reach goals? Maybe you would like his support in doing other activities that do not involve alcohol? Maybe you would like his support in talking about your feelings while cutting back? Whatever you need let him know. Also, be sure to ask him how he would like to support you. Make a plan that works for both of you. Another suggestion is direct him to resources like the Alcohol Help Center or other websites that give information on how to support a loved one who is cutting back or abstaining. The more information he has the better able he will be able to support you and understand what you are going through.
 
Members what are your thoughts?  How would you like to be supported by a loved one? How do you let them know?

Ashley, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
           A few days ago I discussed with my husband that I wanted to cut down on my wine drinking. Since then I have regretted telling him this. He is a wonderful husband and father but has some control issues. Meaning he has to have a say in everything and anything. I wanted his support but instead I got Mr. Policeman!! How can I nicely tell him that he is driving me crazy!!

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