Sounds like you've been making some big realizations. It is great to hear you speaking this way and encouraging others to effectively control their alcohol intake.
Keep up the great work Ray! We are here for you and support you through all of this!
I've been reading some of your posts, sorry to see that you are having a bit of a hard time. We are all going through our separate battles, but at least like you said we are not alone. This site has been so helpful to me, I always read up on the forums and I am so touched by what everyone has to say and what everyone is going through. The thing is, we can NO longer put up with this "self-destruction", enough is enough. I've hurt many people along the way, in so many ways and thought that they would never forgive me. It's taken me a while to figure out that first I needed to forgive myself. And with time each one of the people i've hurt will find it in themselves to forgive me.
I'm here for you BG, so please let me know how today went.
We are here for you BG. Sorry to hear that you had a tough evening last night. Hopefully you were able to make it through the night, and are feeling a bit better today. You said it yourself, you are NOT giving up yet, and nor are we! Stay close to the boards, keep posting and we will support you along the way!
well so much for great attitude... i have not managed to meet my goals this week thinking that it was all so good last week it would be easy to resume. but it isn't like that. i still retain that once you've made it through a couple of nights of sobriety it's easier than you think. i was so proud of myself. my problem is getting back there. anyway, will give it another shot starting tonight.
been reading stories of new comers to the site and i am heartened by the fact that i am not alone in this, although saddened to hear these painful stories. how many years can we all put up with this kind of self-sabotage? i love being drunk but the consequences are starting to pile up and i guess after years of drinking you forget what it's like to be a sober person.
yep. i'm deeply disappointed in myself but i aint giving up yet. i want to be a better person with energy to burn and learn to enjoy alcohol in a sensible way...
Well... if I make it through tonight (which I am determined to do) I will have been sober for three days - the longest time I've been sober for about 5 years. My goal is not to drink on week nights and drink sensibly on weekends - allowing myself the occasional fall off the perch too.
Am off to a wedding on the weekend which will be a bit tough... so thinking of strategies to drink a bit but not let it get out of hand. Luckily my partner is very supportive... so... here goes. If I can keep up the 'no alcohol during the week' thing and at least not drink 3-4 days a week in the long term it will be a huge victory.
Cravings pretty bad tonight though not unbearable. And I have loads more energy which I didn't expect. I thought it would be harder than this (if I was to give up totally it would be much more difficult). I was expecting dramatic withdrawal symptoms. I want to prove to myself that even though I have alcoholic tendencies, I have the power to control that. Do you think this is realistic?
Good onya Ray... I'm with ya. Are you giving up completely?
Will be offline over the weekend while I travel, but will return with the news next week...
BG! I was so glad to see your message that you made it through the night! WAHOO!
How have things been since? You can do this BG! I am here for you and i'm swimming in the same river so I get how rough the current can be sometimes if you know what I mean!
Thanks guys. Well I got through the night. Woke up late. My partner and I had a long talk. It's affecting him and he was pretty angry. Took the day off work. I feel very hungover and am trying not to get into the self-hating though I am very disappointed with myself. I know it's got to change. Sometimes when I get close to giving up or dealing with the problem I just get worse! Well starting tonight I will not drink. That will be my goal for today. If I achieve that I will be happier though I know I will find it hard to get to sleep... wish me luck!
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