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Don't know what to do

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

Hi Kelly

I wanted to say how inspired I was by your last post to Dods. You are clearly a very motivated person who sees alcohol for what it is..an addictive substance which takes over and rules our lives. There is no magical answer and we are human beings who have failings so it is a tough battle. We just have to continue in any way that suits each individual and hope one day we each succeed. We have to keep trying to give up even if we have slips because the alternative is unbearable to think about. Hang in there!

Dods

Just saying hello and adding my support. You should be so proud of yourself for admitting you have issues with drink..I believe it is the biggest step forward. We are always here to offer support without judgement as we understand somewhat how you feel. Keep posting and please don't beat yourself up, remember you are human! We may all have different reasons for being alcohol dependent but we all aim for the same goal..to be sober. Most of all don't give up trying to give up even if it takes a several attempts to reach sobriety!!! It is a long road but you CAN get there!

Good luck to you both

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

I should say that's not like me..it WAS me of course. Anyways, again sorry if I offended you.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

Sarah,

I am sorry for that last post. That's not me at all.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 65

Hi Dods,

I really hear your frustration. It's really hurtful to know that you have no defense against alcohol. Like, what happened to my free will? When you actually try to quit and find yourself drinking again its a sickening feeling like there's a parasite living inside of you that can and will take control of you and make you poison yourself. Of all the things I've lost from drinking my sense of personal strength and dignity was the hardest. It sucks knowing that when certain people think or talk of me one of the most prominent details will probably be how drunk I was or what stupid thing I did.

I know why I have chosen the bottle in the past. I have a lot of problems that I don't face and alcohol makes it go away (for a while). I'm angry, scared, lonely, frustrated, beaten down by life, dissapointed. All that melts away when I drink so why wouldn't I? Maybe you've got the same demons. It's a hard choice to live in pain over using booze as medicine. Like I mentioned before I have a few years on you and I just want to let you know- It gets worse the longer you drink. You think you have withdrawal pains now? You think alcohol is messing up your life? Wait till you're in your 30's and people think you are a hopeless drunk and no one even cares anymore cause they've written you off as a lost cause. Wait till your body really starts to show you the damage booze has caused it. You will certainly spend time in the hospital if you continue this way. It'll either be a drunken accident or some alcohol related illness. I don't mean to be condesending at all. I just want to share my hard earned "wisdom" in the hopes that it may help you.

I wish I had a solution for you, and me, and all the alcoholics in pain who are drowning in the mess having a drinking problem makes of your life. Keeping a journal helps me sort my thoughts maybe you should try writtting about what is bothering you so much that you need to be numb all the time. Life is hard and often disapointing but being an alcoholic make everything harder after the drunk wears off.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

From the big book aka (Alcoholics Anonymous):

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

you are such a sweetheart......yes, you are especially cute, but iz not tht smiple...not drinking equates to not breathing....i know that seems llike crap but iz true......tellin me not to drink as much is the same as tellin me not to breathe as much....if i do drink it means my life, my livlihood.......if i DONT drink it means my life and my livlihood. I tried NOT drinking before honey, and it didnt work, at least on my own resources...iz why AA works.....cause unless your an alcoholic, you dont know the true definition of HUMILITIY...an unwillling drunk will not know what "humility" means period. If your drunk and you are not humble, then you need help, plain and SIMPLE. It IS that simple people. Im not the prophet (obviously) im just the messenger for anyone that wants to LIVE. Those drunk folks out there...tell me you dont yearn for a life full of sex, joy, money, esteeem............come on

its the human condition

make it happen

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Dods,

Thank you for sharing your experience with other members here.

Sorry to here you are going through some pretty difficult withdrawal symptoms right now. You have raised a number of important points for discussion in your post. As you mentioned, alcoholism can be a very baffling addiction for people to understand or experience. What is important in your journey is that you have those around you who care about you and want you to succeed. Having a sponsor is an incredible resource and will be incredibly important to you as your drinking habits change.

What is key in your post is that you said that you want to stop drinking. If you have made this decision in the past, you can learn from these slips and use these experiences during your present journey. Reflecting on your past slips will also give you more insight into the reasons why you wish to stop drinking and your determination to make these changes.

Stay close to the boards Dods and let us know if there is anything we can do for you. We are here to help!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 17

I decided to stop drinking on Tuesday morning after my last drink and have had the worst withdrawals of my life since then. Met with my sponsor and felt desperate enough to stop drinking again. I had a pretty good afternoon and felt myself thinking forward about life, and have pretty much gotten through the early withdrawals so I felt pretty good today. Well, a friend of mine stopped by unannounced with a case of beer and vwala- Im drinking. I simply cannot stop drinking. I will be thrown out of my apartment in about a month and i have a slew of other reasons to NOT drink and yet here i am deciding that one more night of getting hammered is a good decision. How does that work? Just got a call from my sponsor who thinks that i have been sober since Tuesday, and he said "Adam, I hope your feeling better..etc...And if you are drinking right now, STOP and go to a meeting, or come to the 7am meeting in the morning"- What a wonderful person he is, and how guilty i feel for telling him i wanna stop and then drinking...must be 20 times now i have said and done that in the last year. Whatever, all i can say is this is such a baffling thing, this alcoholism. I dont know what im going to do. Oh, I can tell you that I want to stop drinking, and I mean it, but what does that impetus get me? Where does it leave me? In the same place every time. The insanity of it all is unbelievable. How a person can go through what I've gone through and what so many others have and yet that person can still CHOOSE to pick up that bottle again. Its sickening is what it is. Kelly, keep going to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, pray, do whatever it takes NOT to drink

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Don't know what to do