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June quitter

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2534

Another day chalked off StellaBlue, the 33rd of many!!!

My quit days are included to hopefully inspire. I want you to know that I have been where you are today; my day 33 was 20 June 2004; it was a Sunday and things were getting a little easier, just like they are for you today. I wasn't "out of the woods" by any means but I could just make out a clearing in the distance!! Ring any bells?

I also want you to know that my numbers will be your numbers if you just keep on doing what you are doing, one day at a time. I've been where you are now and you can be where I am now!

Carpe Diem!

Best Wishes

Penitent

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$63,239.00

Amount Saved
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Days: 1311 Hours: 5

Minutes: 2 Seconds: 41

Life Gained
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5749

Smoke Free Days
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126,478

Cigarettes Not Smoked

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Thanks Penitent :) Your smoke-free day count humbles and inspires me.

Today is Day 33. At this point, I feel that it is a given that I'm not going to smoke today. Not to be confused with complacency (which has resulted in relapse in the past). I am still having intrusive thoughts of smoking, but thoughts are not actions (even though my maladapted brain likes to link them as inseparable bedfellows). In past quits, a thought or desire to smoke felt so overwhelming that it seemed like the only way out, the inevitable way out, was to smoke to relieve the pressure. I now know that the pressure will not kill me, and doesn't even last very long, as long as I don't attach meaning or value to the desire to smoke. Today it's more like, "Yep, I want to smoke right now. What's next?" I'm no longer entertaining the idea of smoking, which means I'm no longer feeding the ongoing obsession, which means I am feeling less compulsive about smoking. I have some evidence behind me now that I can make it through. As long as I don't panic when urges to smoke enter my brain, I will be fine. In the past, I panicked. This is the biggest difference between past attempts and this quit. DON'T PANIC.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2534

Hi StellaBlue,

Are you a non-smoker yet? You most certainly are! Congratulations!!

One month is big and your positivity shines through in this wonderful thread that is a welcome throwback to the old days here.

Carry on doing what you are doing, one day at a time, and slowly that desire to smoke will recede. It is receding already!

Having read your posts I know that you can do this, will do this, are doing this!!

Good Luck and keep that marvellously positive attitude!

Penitent 5,178 days smokefree

Quit Meter

$63,239.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1311 Hours: 5

Minutes: 2 Seconds: 41

Life Gained
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5749

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

126,478

Cigarettes Not Smoked

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

30 DAYS!!!!!

Am I a non-smoker yet? Lol. I would say yes, save for the fact that I still want to smoke. Breathe and continue to do nothing, and I will see Day 31 (and easier days to follow).

Reasons I love not smoking:

1. I love not being self-conscious that I stink.

2. I love not worrying about "airing out" my truck.

3. I love not plotting my next smoke all the time, and the freedom I have to think about other things that actually matter.

4. I love the money piling up in my bank account - I am ahead in my savings/investing goals :)

5. I love that when I go to put my book in my purse, it no longer catches on the bulky edge of my cigarette pack. Just slides right in!

6. I love that my writing callous on my finger is no longer yellow/brown. Just plain old pink.

7. I love that I can go on long car rides with family members without feeling resentful, sneaky, and impatient because I can't smoke around them.

8. I love the idea that I might be saving myself some future wrinkles. I like getting older, but not necessarily *looking* older.

9. I love the way it feels to say, "I have smoked in ______ days."

10. I love the joyful feeling of yet another chain dropping away from my life.

11. I love the self esteem that comes from sticking to this and asserting my boundaries and goals.

12. I love that I'm no longer part of the butt-littering problem in my community.

13. I love that there's no cellophane wrappers flying around the floor of my truck anymore.

14. I love that my dog doesn't sneeze when she licks my face anymore.

15. I love that I'm not distracted as much.

16. I love that I am getting better at sitting with uncomfortable feelings, and not running to smokes or food to soothe myself (because I would eat something sugary if I couldn't smoke).

17. I love that I have listed 17 things already and it's only been one month. There are still some attractive aspects of smoking that pop into mind as well, and I look forward to the future when I'll have less of a pro/con list going on inside my brain, and only the "pro" side will remain. This list encompasses all of my current "pros."

Onward :)

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 810

Hi StellaBlue,

Yahoo! It's been a whole month now for you on your quit journey and you haven't caved in. BIG milestone in my books.

Be sure and give yourself a nice reward for all your efforts, you deserve it! As always, watch out for those triggers and stay strong. You're doing great.

Not One Puff Ever

Quit Meter

$26,759.15

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 891 Hours: 4

Minutes: 40 Seconds: 6

Life Gained
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4423

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

97,306

Cigarettes Not Smoked

Stay safe & Strong.

Not One Puff Ever (NOPE)

Tim

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Day 29. Tomorrow is going to feel really good :)

I am thinking about smoking less over all, but am finding my cravings getting worse?! Less frequent, but way sharper when they do happen. This has been going on for 3 days now. Physically, it feels similar to panic when the cravings strike. And they are coming out of nowhere now, instead of at the predictable times and cues. Stabbing intense thoughts of smoking while I'm going about my business. Yesterday I had to ask two separate people to please stop talking about smoking because I was finding even the word "smoking" to be a bit too much for me. I don't know if this is a result of the reduced Champix, or some last gasps of the addiction, or both. I am trying to not give it too much weight, but it's so uncomfortable! In the past, I would have given in (believing the addiction when it told me that the only way to stop the misery was to satisfy it... and then I'd be able to "move on".... hahaha). Today, I am writing here instead, and hanging on for that big 30 days.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 810

Hi StellaBlue,

"I do not like wanting to smoke. I realize the only way to stop the wanting is to stop the smoking that creates the want in the first place." You pretty much summed it all up with those two sentences. It really does sound like you have a good grip on your quit journey this time. You seem to be handling the unexpected stress and sleepless days/nights in stride now. Not that you don't have an urge to smoke anymore, but knowing that you can survive the situations without that nasty habit.

Keep it going, almost a WHOLE month already.

So your sense of smell has returned to you too? Hard to believe that you used to smell like your partner and his apartment and never really noticed it.

My wife still smokes too, but she goes outside to do it. I can tell whenever she's around. I know where you're coming from.

Stay strong, and watch those triggers.

Not One Puff Ever

Quit Meter

$26,759.15

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 891 Hours: 4

Minutes: 40 Seconds: 6

Life Gained
Quit Meter

4423

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

97,306

Cigarettes Not Smoked

Stay safe & Strong.

Not One Puff Ever (NOPE)

Tim

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Day 26, and boy did I earn the last few days! Last week I acted as birthing partner (for a friend), an event that ended up lasting four days, largely without any sleep and with plenty of stress and bad feelings. This weekend I wanted to smoke quite badly a few times, but I asked myself if I would rather say "I've gone X days without smoking," or "I've gone X days without smoking.... except for that half smoke/2 smokes/whatever on Day 25." I decided the former was much nicer sounding, plus I think I'm finally learning that "half a smoke" is always the harbinger of full relapse for me. It's definitely tough, but not impossible, to say no (even if I am operating on fumes and fury). Sometime during the birth ordeal I also cut my Champix down (was taking a half pill twice a day, now I'm only taking a half pill - a quarter dose - per day). This was accidental, I wasn't planning to taper until this coming week, but might as well go with it. I do not like wanting to smoke. I realize the only way to stop the wanting is to stop the smoking that creates the want in the first place. Like any good addict, I want this accomplished immediately

P.S - My partner, and his apartment, now stink to me :(

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 810

Hi StellaBlue,

Sounds like you are gaining more confidence in yourself on your quit journey every day. Good for you!!! Three weeks tomorrow, then a month, two months, and before you know it, it will be your 6 month anniversary. Time is going to seem to go quicker for you now too since you're not spending so much time thinking about not smoking. It only gets better from here on. Just make sure to watch out for the triggers, and no matter what situations arise in the future, NEVER give in to the thought of having "just one". You are back in control of your life now again, not that darned NicoDemon. Congratulations on being a quitter for (3) weeks now.

Be sure and reward yourself for all your effort, you deserve it.

Stay strong.

Not One Puff Ever

Quit Meter

$26,759.15

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 891 Hours: 4

Minutes: 40 Seconds: 6

Life Gained
Quit Meter

4423

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

97,306

Cigarettes Not Smoked

Stay safe & Strong.

Not One Puff Ever (NOPE)

Tim

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

A miracle! I just reread my post from yesterday, and realized that it didn't even occur to me to smoke after my work thing yesterday. I spent exactly zero minutes thinking of cigarettes. I had one thought late at night after a personally draining/stressful evening, but it was a thought, not a crave, and therefore easily dismissed. It's working! I am moving closer to a life where I don't think about smoking or miss smoking. My dream goal is to simply never think about smoking. I'm so tired of having to add in those extra thoughts, I'd rather use my brain space for something more productive than wanting/plotting a smoke. I am feeling very optimistic, as I'm still in very early quit days and yet am feeling the freedom from being chained to that particular thought loop. Tomorrow will be 3 weeks. I sailed right by my record from last year. It's happening. I'm quitting. I've quit. I just have to keep on doing nothing and the rest will take care of itself :)

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