Aww, thanks guys for the compliments. I wish I was writer because I love words, but I really don't have anything to write about. Or it feels that way, anyway.
Timbo - I'm in no danger of the legalized pot in Canada, haha. The strongest thing I put in my system these days is English Breakfast tea. But speaking of second-hand smoke, I had the strangest experience maybe two weeks ago. I was sitting across the table from my partner on a patio, and he was having a smoke while we talked. At one point, I got up from the table, and when I went to speak, a huge cloud of smoke erupted from my mouth! I somehow inhaled his entire smoke cloud from across the table and let it out myself?? I was so startled by it I jumped! I didn't notice it going in - how is that possible?? In all my years of smoking, that never happened to me before. It was so bizarre to see smoke come out of my mouth for the first time in months. Luckily I don't think I inhaled any of it (I would have felt that, I think), but I did have a tiny moment of panic haha.
Sparrow - You sound sooooooooo much like I did when I was finally approaching this Quit That Stuck. I started really dwelling on the fact that it would have all been over by now if I'd just stuck it out any one of the umpteen times I tried and failed. I do believe anyone can quit. It did, in the end, come down to a shift in mindset that made it possible. And for me, this shift wasn't like flicking a light switch. It was more like a slow and painful turning down of the dimmer over the course of 2 years until finally the switch was completed. I envy the people on this board who were able to throw the switch in one fell swoop, but that was not my experience. At this point, you basically watched my entire quit in real time, right? Did it feel like a long time as an objective observer? I'm all kinds of biased because I lived it, but today it feels like it didn't even take that long to get from point a to point b. I used that during my quit, too - reminding myself that everything always seems easier after you've done it (think of school assignments, big work projects, etc), and one day I'd look back on smoking the same way. Starting any project kind of blows. After it's done, though, it seems so much easier and I wonder why I was so intimidated by it. And then the next project comes up, and I go through the whole process again. I find it reassuring to know that anything that feels challenging today, will one day seem simple and easy when I look back on it from the perspective of having completed it.
P.S - 4 months today