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Browse through 411.742 posts in 47.053 threads.

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anger and fury related to quitting


5 years ago 0 796 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Bump up for Lindsay2108.
 Maybe this is a start for your partner to try and understand what you will be going through. 
 
Not One Puff Ever
 
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7 years ago 0 2778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey Chaosed!!!
 
     Welcome to the SSC!  There is a lot of great information to help you on your journey to freedom here!  I see that you have gone through part of the Program and that is a great start!  Continue on with the program!  It gives you the basic building blocks for a sustainable quit!  Also, communicating to others here for feedback should help you, too!  Another thing that may help is the search button here on the forums.  Type in a subject to help you find posts and info on subjects that you may have questions on.
 
      I have just celebrated my 9th year of freedom and I couldn't have done it without the info here and the help and encouragement of my quit buddies here on the SSC Forums.  I know the activity isn't same here as it was back then, but the posts are still there for you to read.  There are a lot of good answers in the posts from those who were in the same shoes you are now in!
 
      My motto was to always have a Positive Mental Attitude!  PMA will help you through the hard times and so will N.O.P.E.  "Not One Puff Ever!"  Because as you know.... you are only one puff away from a pack a day!  Me Too!!!  
 
      I'll stop by again soon to see how you are doing!  Keep the faith and do check into nicotine replacement therapy.  Chantix is what did the trick for me after many, many failed quits!  Whatever you decide, I hope that you will never quit trying to quit!  It WILL work one of these days!
 
 
     Jim
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7 years ago 0 15 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The best thing I have ever done and what I truly believe has helped me with quitting is I saw my General Doctor and asked to try anxiety medication. I have gone years trying to cope with anxiety to the point where I started developing OCD problems. For instance, I found I would wash my hands 45 times a day because I was scared of getting sick and I didn't think they were clean enough. Or I had to leave a room a certain way or I thought something bad would happen.  
 
Anyway, they put me on Zoloft 50mg to start and see if it would help. I can not explain to you the difference it has made in my life! I also did this a month before I quit smoking and found I think it truly helped me to quit. When I did quit I found my anxiety came back a little so my doctor said I could go up to 100mg until I felt comfortable and he could bring it back down to 50mg
 
Now I wanna state Zoloft has no nicotine in it so I do not consider it a nicotine replacement. However, I did find it helped me with depression symptoms and keep my anxiety at its normal level.
 
 
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7 years ago 0 11209 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi chaosed,

It sounds like you have put a lot of thought into quitting smoking. Have you talked to a counselor or mental health professional about your mental health concerns? I think this may help you in your quit and your overall health. Also, talk to your doctor about quit aids. There are many ways to cope with withdrawal. In addition to talking to your doctor also look through the program. The section on withdrawal discusses quit aids you may want to consider.

It sounds like anger really interferes with you quit so it makes sense that learning new ways to cope with anger would be important for you. Many people use smoking as a way to cope - it can take practice to learn other strategies. Breathing exercises, grounding, progressive muscle relaxation, anger management and general self care are important areas to look into. What have you tried to do to cope with your anger in the past? What new strategy do you think you could try?


Ashley, Health Educator
7 years ago 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
In the last autumn/winter/summer (the university year) I have tried to quit numerous times.
On some on this occasions I was  able to resist 3-5 days. At that point I thought I'll smoke just one cigarette, as a kind of reward, thinking it's no big deal, then I'd start again, obviously. Now I'm well prepared for this happening and I am determined not to smoke another cigarette in these conditions when I stop smoking, so this is not a problem anymore, as I know there's no such thing as "just a cigarette".
The big problem for me is my anger issue.
Other times when I tried to quit it lasted 2 days approximately. After that time I'd feel the need to smoke a cigarette. My anxiety would raise and if I didn't smoke a cigarette then I would get extremely angry and fight with people and even if i didn't fight, id's still end up smoking a cigarette.
I usually smoke 10-14 cigarettes a day, when I used to smoke 20.
One of these days I smoked 3 cigarettes in the morning, and gently distracted me with other things until evening. I went on  the phone with my mum and I got angry with her for no reason ( I didn't tell her that), I went on the phone with my boyfriend and again, I got angry for no reason. I knew at that point: i had to smoke a cigarette.
Anger is the main reason I started smoking. I started smoking one day when I wanted not to continue an argument.
After that, I got into a depression, and smoking helped me 'relax' and 'feel better' without dealing with my emotional issues and without having to talk to anyone about it - i didn't want to talk about it with the people involved in my troubles and end up fighting with them or deteriorating the relationship without repair.
Smoking as an escape and not dealing with my emotional issues ultimately led to my depression deepening, developing an anxiety disorder, with OCD traits, suicidal thoughts, all on top of a kind of personality disorder, which developed due to poor childhood nurturing, not communicating with others in a constructive way and not learning important and useful social skills.
 
So smoking did me no good: my depression worsened, I developed anxiety and OCD traits which led me to daily panic attacks at some point, it encouraged me to ruminate, and on top of that it didn't help me with my emotional issues (I would not say that I have exactly a personality disorder, but it isn't easy for me to communicate with others in an assertive way).
 
I ignored my problems and my problems grew stronger. 
 
I think you can see why it's important for me to quit.
 
But the cigarettes were there when I was angry and I didn't want to continue an argument: because I don't know how to communicate in an assertive way, I'd either say nothing or say too much and insult or hurt the other
 
And I don't want to do that. When I insult or hurt someone, it hurts me too, because I didn't get the message across, I wasn't understood and I didn't understand him/her either. It's beneficial to no one.
 
But if I don't smoke, I find it hard to control my emotions of anger and not enter in a fight with someone.
 
 That's why when, in the Milestone 2 of the program, I got asked whether the benefits of quitting are greater or not than the setbacks, I answered that the benefits of quitting are less important for me than the hardships of quitting.
 
I want to quit, but how do I deal with this withdrawal symptom? It is very important for me not to get in any irrational fight with anyone or insult someone in an argument, which I find hard to do when I do not smoke.
 
And moreover, this anger I have is in part due to trying to quit also? Or is it just a problem I have, which I try to control through smoking?
 
I believe that I've learned some things about being more assertive. I find them hard to apply them when I'm in the midst of anger when trying to quit.
 
I wonder, with my new knowledge of assertiveness, were it easier for me to deal with anger and be more assertive if I were a non-smoker, if i didn't have withdrawal symptoms?
 
Since I still smoke when I'm angry to calm myself, and since when trying to quit I get angry which leads me to smoking again, I find it hard to track my progress in dealing and being in more control over my emotions. 
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