Luckily, smokers are becoming few and far between. That makes choosing non-smokers to date easier. I also cannot stand the smell of dope or dope-heads, either.
I don't think I can date a smoker anymore, either. Last few times I've set up a date with a new person, I've asked in advance if they smoke. I just can't deal with the idea of snuggling up to someone with smoke all over them or kissing the smoker's mouth. And the only way I know to reduce that sensation is to be smoking myself, and I don't want to do that.
Like you, I didn't want to be one of "those" ex-smokers who got all judgmental and fussy. I had to come to terms with my own limits. It's not about judging others. It's about knowing what we can handle for ourselves.
I agree with everyone else, you have to do what's right for you. Good for you for being able to be honest with yourself about this. It must have been a tough decision.
I couldn't date a smoker either! Also, right after I quit, I used to love to follow someone who was smoking just to smell that smoke again! Well, that didn't last long! After a couple of months I couldn't stand the smell of cigarette smoke! It actually made me gag if I was in a room with a smoker! Hopefully you will evolve into a smoke hater, too! It definitely gives you another reason for living a NOPE life!
Shannon, you gotta do what you gotta do. Sounds like dating a smoker is a great way for the junkie in your brain to rationalize smoking. At this point in my quit I feel exactly the same as you. Focus on yourself, remind yourself who and what you're quitting for, and hopefully everything else will fall into place. :)
I think you're doing great analyzing what is and what isn't working for you, though. Being honest is really important and extremely helpful, although painful at times. Keep up the good work!!
So after reflecting on my relapse, I think I learned a couple of things, but one of the most important lessons is: I CANNOT date a Smoker!
I think my addiction found him. Subconciously, I think I used him as a scapegoat or rationalization to SMOKE.
I do not blame him. And, I have nothing against smokers. The smell does not even bother me, as I actually like the smell. I just can't stand to be around it because I like it!
I just do not think I am strong enough to date a smoker. Not to mention, I do not want to see a spouse die of a smoke related illness - which is my motivation for NOT smoking.
I never thought I would put this limitation on myself, but I think this is one that is neccessary for me and my quit.
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