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11 years and counting

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2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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Work stress


11 years ago 0 816 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It's hard to soar like an eagle when you work with turkeys. breather
11 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kristine,

Argh that client sounds ....challenging! I can certainly see how you would be stressed. Stress is actually the biggest reason for relapse. Learning how to cope with stress in ways is very important and it takes time and practice. There is no easy answer unfortunately, continue to experiment with new coping strategies take it one stressful moment at a time. Eventually it will get easier but for awhile it will be a challenge. It takes hard work to fight an addiction but it is even more work to completely change your behaviour patterns. But trust me when I say it will get easier and it is totally worth it.

Remind yourself that smoking will not make the stress any easier and it will likely just make you feel even more stressed and guilty if you do smoke. Keep fighting!

Writing that email sounds like a good idea! Just be sure to write it in a word processor or something and not your email...an email misfire would likely add to the stress.
Ashley, Health Educator
11 years ago 0 618 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dear Kristine,
 
I'm not sure if quitting while you are working is worse or better for controlling your emotions.  I do know that my smoking allowed me to cope with anger.  I had serious anger management issues after I quit...finally I had a 'melt-down' about 3 weeks after I quit, when I realised it was just not worth me being so upset in order to deal with idiots...
 
"Smoking has gotten me through SO MANY of those situations over the years and now I am finding I have to create new ways to handle them."
 
You said it!  Yes, you do need to find other ways to deal with this stuff .....once you have accepted that smoking is NOT an option.  That is the most important thing...once you realise you are not going to smoke...NO MATTER WHAT...you will find ways around the stuff!
 
Jim is right, a PMA  -  a Positive Mental Attitude - is a massive help in the process.
 
Stay focused on your quit!  You are doing it!!!
 
 Love Lolly.    
 
 
 
 
11 years ago 0 2778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Eyja... you crack me up!!!  You got those tears rolling down my cheeks! 
 
Kristine, 
 
       I'm still working, too and quit after 37 years of that stinking addiction!  I was really amped up to make my quit work and had my coping mechanisms written down and ready for cravings, stress, you name it!  My first line of defense was to try to remember to keep a Positive Mental Attitude!  When your attitude is negative, life in general just sucks!  So, I tried to reason with myself that I could avoid a LOT of the stress that life threw at me by telling myself that getting stressed about it just wasn't worth it!  That made a huge difference in the way I looked at life.  When that failed, I just kicked the douchbags in the shin and ran away laughing! 
 
      Not really... What I really did was hang out here a whole bunch to read and post and distract myself from what was bothering me.  I also took breaks and walked the stairs, rhythmically breathing with every step.  After 8 or 9 floors, I was exhausted and couldn't breath!  Again, not really!  A couple of flights were good enough!  It was good to get some additional oxygen in my body and I guess the little bit of exercise I got wasn't too bad for me either!  Oh, and the best therapy of all was getting through the day smoke-free so that I could go home and receive my reward...  !!!
 
      Speaking of, it's almost time to pack it up and blaze home for a beautiful Friday evening reward!!!
 
        Have a great smoke-free weekend and keep up that PMA!!!
 
                           Jim
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11 years ago 0 823 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I understand your dilemma Kristine - I also work and agree that work related stress can get the blood boiling and feed the desire to light one up.  It's true that you'll continue to find inner serenity as you stick with your quit tho - So hang in there!!! You already have some great suggestions here for ways to cope :)  You know the lady trying to derail your work due to ignorance is just that. Ignorant! So your good work practices will find you smelling like the proverbial rose & maybe even get you a few koodos with your boss in the end since you are the one in the right! Also it seems like a trivial thing to get her ticked all weekend long. Whats up with that?? Maybe she's quitting smoking, drinking, getting divorced, feeling like an invisible old douchebag and on a diet too - so her fuse may be reallly short  - and you are the lucky target she chose to pick on!  Or - unfortunately - maybe she's just one of those anal ppl you are stuck dealing with in your work life on a regular basis!  I HATE that!
One good thing is that your house is clean now :)  Also, you can always come here for support .  I see you found your voice on your blog - it's well written and will be cool to read back in time as you continue to learn your triggers and begin to grow!!  It's soooo exciting :)
So how about writing that scathing letter to Beatch (you can even do it like a comedy as you can often see the humor in these things once the crisis is past :) and posting on your blog as reminder to those of us who behave like douchebags - that'll teach 'em - OUCH!   lol 
11 years ago 0 54 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks so much to you both for responding. Working On It, I know what you mean -- I also feel a lot calmer, which I wouldn't have thought was possible! AND this actually happens to be one of the craziest times of year at my job too. I've actually thought in the past, "I can't quit smoking in the fall because work is too crazy," but then I decided there's no time like the present and went for it anyway. I am glad to hear the stress levels kept on falling for you. I do enjoy feeling so much more serene and centered than when I was jumping up constantly to go grab a smoke. Maybe I will stock some candies in my desk drawer in case I need them.
 
Dart, thanks for the "mission" idea! I tried it yesterday -- I work from home so I made my "missions" little household chores like doing the dishes or sweeping the porch. By the time I was done for the day the house was totally clean, which was nice.
 
This isn't really related to work but I just wanted to write down that I had my first smoking dream last night. I've seen a lot of people here posting about them. In my dream I had already finished smoking a cigarette before I remembered I'd quit, and then I started to cry because of what I'd done. When I woke up this morning I thought the dream was real for a few minutes and I felt miserable, and when I realized it wasn't, I was so relieved. A good reminder that having "just one" will not be worth it, ever!
 
11 years ago 0 1140 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kristine,
 
Yes, I still work, and I was able to quit smoking when I was working. In fact, my detox from nicotine (after I had tapered off to just NRT's) happened during one of the busiest and most stressful times of the year at my job.  I was actually grateful for that, since it gave me plenty to think about besides smoking. 
 
In regards to coping with stress, I will first note that my stress levels have gone down since I got off the nicotine. I think about half of my "stress" was really just me jonesing for a cigarette and having to wait for breaks or lunch. Once I no longer needed to refuel my nicotine levels every couple of hours, stressful events stopped stressing me as much.  
 
No, stress has not totally gone away. So I do have some coping mechanisms. I still keep a ton of mints at my desk, so I can satisfy the oral urge whenever I want. I also do deep breathing when things get out of hand. I also used to take short walks around the building during those break times when I used to smoke. Over time, my need for these various behaviors has also declined. I'm just calmer these days. 
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11 years ago 0 22 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kristine,
 
Your post sounds really familiar to me!  I have been struggling with that as well... especially when you get a particularly irritating client that just makes you want to scream!! LOL, your story about the PDF was hilarious, I totally empathize!
 
Smoking was my little refuge when I needed to take time to calm my emotions before composing a response, or figure out a strategy to deal with an issue, or even just re-group and think about what I needed to accomplish that day.  What I noticed is that it really was just distancing myself from my office for just a couple minutes to breathe that was what I needed. 
 
Everyone is totally different in what works for them.  While taking a short walk worked for some, I found it wasn't something I would stick to since the tyranny of emails would keep me pinned to my chair until I was zombied out from withdrawal.  Without the physical "pull" of the addiction to answer to, I just wouldn't leave my desk. 
 
Now, I give myself daily little "missions" to help get me out of the chair when I clearly need to take a break and would otherwise have smoked.  I'll go get a $3 lotto ticket.  I'll go mail a letter.  I'll take a lap around the office and maybe a chat a second or two to a colleague.  I'll go refill my water glass or water my plants.  Brew a tea.  Go cruise around a drugstore for a second or 2 and purchase something that makes me feel good.  Failing all that, I literally will just cruise the internet or come here and read for 5 or 10 minutes if I can't focus on my task.
 
Bottom line is that you're not smoking - good for you!!!  I try not to be too hard on myself for being stuck in second gear at work these last few weeks.  And, we'll be even better in our jobs than we were before, since Nicotine cravings won't be playing marionette with our concentration and emotions every couple hours... I'm already feeling this positive benefit!!
 
Nice work, keep breathing, keep it up!!  Just remember NOPE and that it gets better!!
11 years ago 0 54 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm so amazed and inspired by those of you in this community who are retired and have smoked for a really long time. I often think "If someone who smoked for 40 years can do it, so can I!" That being said, I was wondering if anyone else here is still working full-time and having to cope with work stress, and if so, how they handle it.
 
I think my job is somewhat more stressful than average. I handle ten clients for a small company; for some of these clients, the point people I work with are awesome, but for others, the point people are stupid, rude, lazy, or otherwise problematic. Case in point, I had to proof and format a long document for a client at the last minute on Friday, and the point person kept e-mailing me ALL WEEKEND insisting that the PDF version of the document had "different fonts" than the Word version. Which is impossible because I made the PDF directly from the Word version. But she is a computer-illiterate idiot who makes three times as much money as me to do nothing, so she didn't realize that she was looking at the PDF at a different zoom level than the Word doc and that's why the fonts looked different. She e-mailed me eight times over the weekend getting increasingly pissed off as she kept insisting I had screwed up. She didn't understand that I couldn't fix the problem because the problem was nonexistent. She even had the gall to copy my boss on one of the e-mails, presumably so he could see how incompetent I was being and punish me. I wanted to throw a brick through a wall.
 
Smoking has gotten me through SO MANY of those situations over the years and now I am finding I have to create new ways to handle them. A few that have been successful for me so far are putting on some soothing music, taking deep breaths, reading for a few minutes and then coming back, and, when all else fails, writing the incredibly nasty response e-mail I am dying to send and then deleting it, just to get the frustration out of my system. Still, at nine days quit I find that more than anything else -- drinking, having a rich meal, whatever -- work stress makes me think about smoking. And, in fact, the last time I quit what broke it wasn't a night out with smoking friends or something like that; it was work stress. Anybody have any awesome secret coping techniques to share? Or do I just have to get used to dealing with this stuff without the help of cigarettes?

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