Hi Mommy of 2,

This is a great question! Finding replacement behaviours and coping strategies is a big part of leading a successful quit. Good for you for being proactive with this.

When it comes to Deep Breathing it might help if I outline a way to properly deep breath for relaxation purposes. Give it one more try. It is important when deep breathing to breath with your belly (abdomen) instead of your chest. Children naturally breath with their bellys but as we get older we tend to hold ourselves differently and breath more shallow. This shallow chest breathing prevents us from feeling fully relaxed. When breathing from your belly you should see your belly slowly rise when you slowly inhale and fill your stomach with air. You may find it helpful to actually stick your belly out while trying this the first few times. It may feel kind of strange at first but with some practice you will get the hang of it. When breathing with your abdomen trying "box breathing". Box breathing is a pattern of breathing that has a "box" of pauses around your breaths. For instance, when you inhale, right after you pause for about three seconds, then exhale and then pause for three seconds. Inhale - pause - exhale - pause - inhale - pause - etc. Let us know how this type of breathing worked for you. It is a great skill to have whenever you are feeling anxious - especially before bed.

In regards to coffee, this is a huge trigger for many quitters. It can be helpful to completely switch up your behaviour by stopping drinking coffee altogether or drinking a herbal tea or other beverage. If you're not quite ready for that then try posting here while having your coffee, or chew on a stir stick, chat with a friend, walk, or munch on a healthy snack. Members, how did you cope with the coffee trigger?

In regards to the tantrums, box breathing may help. You could also try counting, walking away, talking calmly to your child or listening to music. Members, what are your suggestions?

Mommy or 2, has any other ideas of replacement came up as you were reading this? It's important to experiment and find what works for you. It will get easier with time and practice.


Ashley, Health Educator

   I am working the program and reading as much as I can while being a stay at home Mom and taking care of a 3 year old.  I also have a 1st grader who's in school.  I'm eager to start my new life and I think that will help with the positive thinking part at least.  My question right now is this - my triggers will be tantrums (3 yo) and caffeine.  I always drink coffee and I'm not sure how to cut back on that AND cigarettes at the same time.  Deep breathing has never seemed to work for me.  Any suggestions to dealing with triggers would be great!