A renewal of non-smoking vows for one.
I love this time of year. The time has changed, rains have come, we're lighting candles for the past few nights. We had friends over to celebrate a birthday. I love how much I can smell and taste. My skin looks fab, my hair smells good. I've been hiking, and painting...... stuff I didn't have time for! Isn't it amazing how much time smoking takes from us? Or maybe how much energy it sucks from us. I'm doing so much more.
I got very excited about finding a chestnut tree in our yard. I didn't know we had one. It was a fight between me and the squirrels for the past few days. The birthday friend that was over tonight is a fairly celebrated science guy. I presented my hard won chestnuts, and he told me they are poisonous buckeyes. :) Thank God for friends!
I told him to enjoy his dessert.
:)
And I was on the front page of the paper today. And it wasn't for poisoning my friends. It was for a good thing. So I'm enjoying my 5 minutes of fame. It has spurred many calls to help people I'm trying to help, so it felt wonderful.
It has been a roller coaster lately. My mom has been transferred to a rehab center for her knee, I am still crying intermittently about Travis...... Have you guys heard that song-- "a short life" ? His schoolmate sang that song and I keep hearing it on the radio. Every time I burst out in tears.
Here is the thing though. Even though I'm grieving, and even though I'm happy.... I don't smoke. I'm lucky that I don't have anyone around me that smokes too.
Collectively, we are our own movement. We don't smoke anymore. I know for me, I feel more deeply. All emotions. Maybe that's why I smoked in the first place. But I wouldn't trade these feelings for the world. I love laughing deeply, crying, feeling my heart swell when my son hugs me, getting completely into work, smelling this rain.... you name it. It's all important.
Okay-- so don't eat buckeye's. They look a lot like chestnuts.
Deb
