Yeah, you're a wimp, but the recovery is that you recognize it. So that means you have not lost the battle nor the war. Like you said, You know that you can't have just one. No addict can have just one of their drug. What we have to realize is that the addict in us is used to being in complete control, because we relinquished control to it years ago. We may never get control back, but what we can do is learn to manage our feelings, addictions, and lives. That takes practice. When the needed feeling or belief is not ingrained, what we can often do is "act as if" until we get what we need. Acting as if usually leads to a lot of encouragement, which can often change our feelings and increase our motivation. Since my last attempt was about my umpteenth attempt, I also found it helpful to ask myself, If not now, then when. I needed to pin me down, to make myself look at the fact that there was never going to be a good time. Quitting is not fun, but being quit brings many a proud moments, especially when you realize you're doing something you never thought you could. That's the clincher. We often think that we can't do something, but while we're complaining, we're doing it. So yes, you're a wimp, but we all were when we first started out. However, we walked through our fears.
