I "master" my universe by categorizing, analogical thinking--metaphors and similes. By giving what I think of as the evil side of me a name, I feel like I can tame it--outsmart it maybe, get to know it better. "It" has a boundary. I realize that I have practically no control over being an addict. However, I also know that there is a difference between having no control and having no influence. The good side of me, the God side, gets to decide what it wants and how it will handle various things as well, and I believe that it is actually stronger. I feel that I sometimes fail because my relationship with God isn't as tight as I need it to be, that I have a difficult time letting go and letting God. It's a trust issue. I try not to get too intellectual with concepts such as God, Nicodemon... I figure if whatever it is I'm doing and believing are having positive effects, then leave them alone before I talk my way out of believing. So I usually pull back when I find I'm starting to intellectualize.
My Milage:
My Quit Date: 5/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 97
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,716
Amount Saved: $1,052.45
Life Gained:
Days: 10 Hrs: 16 Mins: 22 Seconds: 11