The idea of the Zero Tolerance Policy is to make an agreement with yourself. The agreement is that you are absolutely not going to allow yourself to wallow around in self pity. This is similar to how an alcoholic would approach abstinence and  addiction help - you simply do not allow yourself to “go there.”

The Zero Tolerance Policy requires 3 things to make it work:

* Awareness - You must increase your everyday awareness so that you can identify when you are slipping into self pity mode. This will require some level of effort and practice initially. If you do it for a few days it will become second nature to you.

* Vigilance - Not only do you have to stay alert, but you must also catch yourself immediately and not allow yourself to “indulge” in self pity….not even for a minute.

* Differentiating - Between self pity and genuine sadness. It’s alright to feel emotions, or to feel sad. The problem is when you take your sad emotions and turn them into a selfish and self centered roller coaster. Sadness is a healthy emotion. Self pity is not. If you are honest with yourself you can learn to identify the difference and recognize when you are playing emotional games with yourself. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, nor is there anything wrong with expressing this emotion. The problem is when you take your grief and twist it up so that the world owes you something for it. Then it becomes unhealthy.

2) A Self-Empowering Plan of Action - in order to build healthy self-esteem

A big part of overcoming self pity and the depressive state that accompanies it is to take positive action. Do that by focusing your efforts on the following:

* Goal oriented, action oriented - push yourself to achieve new things. Accomplish something. Be productive.
* Always be Striving, Pushing - Don’t allow yourself to stagnate. Push yourself to make new goals if you become idle.
* Growth Oriented - Improve yourself in different ways. Consider education, training, physical exercise, and so on. Expand your horizons.

3) Focus on Gratitude - seeing the glass as half full

* Your New Mantra: “I am Grateful Today Because….”
* Attack gratitude with overwhelming force, let it permeate your life
* If you pray, let gratitude permeate your prayers. If you don’t pray, simply be grateful. Shift your attitude.

Remember that gratitude takes practice. If you have to, sit down and make a gratitude list, writing down everything that you are grateful for.