I have been smoke free for 42 days and for some reason, today feels like day 1.

I can't stand it. Everyone keeps says post when you feel this way, so I am. I have been doing nothing but crying (in front of my husband and kids, but stopped doing that after my husband told me to drop my attitude. Now I just leave the room and cry).
I got a phone call last night from my mom saying she just found out she has been having micro strokes. Also, she needs to have a ultra sound on her left breast because there seems to a pain there (its probably nothing, but your mind just can't help but think the worst!) Nice way to flare up cravings huh? And if that is not bad enough, all of my guilt feelings came back because when my parents moved from Chicago down to Florida to retire (which is where I was living for almost 20 years), I moved up to Ohio 6 weeks after they got there (it is sooooooo much cheaper up here......colder, but cheaper!). Now, I want
to be back in Florida with her if anything, for moral support. Then, just to put icing on my cake, my freakin' dryer broke this morning! I know, the dryer thing doesn't seem that monumental, but today it seems like it. AAAAHHHHHH! I can't stand this.
This past Saturday, I stepped down on my patches from 2 to 3. I am now on a 7mg but feels like I'm wearing nothing. I have started catching myselft justifying smoking. The latest reasoning was......well, "we are all going to die of something" or well, "I quit for this long once, I can do it again". I hate this feeling and I'm angry at myself for starting to smoke all those years ago.
Sorry if I sound like a whiny baby.
My Milage:My Quit Date: 9/30/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 42
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 504
Amount Saved: $113.40
Life Gained:Days: 3
Hrs: 18
Mins: 38
Seconds: 26