Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

Quit Smoking Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Loved

Browse through 411.768 posts in 47.066 threads.

161,304 Members

Please welcome our newest members: Geraldine, Snootz, Poul Ilsøe, Trina J Kriya, SG1501

When family doesn't support a quit


16 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
misery loves company, its sad to see how true it is in your everyday life
16 years ago 0 130 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Way to go Kasi - way to go!
 
 
Here's a picture that describes your struggle pretty well I think....
 
 
The cat made it, so will you.
 

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 7/6/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 24
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 720
Amount Saved: $165.60
Life Gained:
Days: 4 Hrs: 0 Mins: 42 Seconds: 56

16 years ago 0 1080 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kasi, like Penitent says, I too have had my share of belittling and berating from smokers who are just so negative and scathing about my quit. I hope that in the past, when I was smoking, that I was  supportive of people's attempts to quit because I was so envious of their determination and resolve.
Do as you said and have a word with your mum. Explain how their negativity is making you feel and that as far as you are aware the only impact of your quit has been a good and healthy one and the only people directly affected are yourself and your boys and thats a wonderful achievement.
 Maybe you could ask why there is such lack of support especially from family.
Your quit stats are awesome, dont let anyone make you feel any different about that, you are a success and you are an achiever and better still.......you are a non-smoker!

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/10/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 80
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,000
Amount Saved: $1,200.00
Life Gained:
Days: 9 Hrs: 10 Mins: 53 Seconds: 59

16 years ago 0 101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks so much for all the support.  You all are like the family I want when I quit (the support that is).  CD, there is no way in heck I'm letting you pass :-)  I like looking right there in my rear view mirror and having that securing you are there just in case to catch my fall (which I know you wont have too because I have so much support here).
Kasi

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 7/3/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 26
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 520
Amount Saved: $110.50
Life Gained:
Days: 2 Hrs: 9 Mins: 32 Seconds: 52

16 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
HelpMeNow1,
 
We are of course always here for you.
Keep up the great work
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
16 years ago 0 3307 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kasi, this quit is all about you.  Yes it would be nice to have the support, but you have us for now.  You are doing amazingly well!!!  24 days is wonderful !!!  Each day you stay quit is a day that you get stronger.  Maybe your Mom is picking on you or maybe you are really sensitive.  I know I was and still can be.
 
Yes, you do owe your son's an apology.  But the best one you can give them is not to smoke again. Maybe doing it in front of the family wasn't the best place, but what the heck they know how you feel and your sons do to.
 
I think you are doing great!!!
 
Keep the Quit
Sparky

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 4/30/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 454
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,540
Amount Saved: $681.00
Life Gained:
Days: 64 Hrs: 7 Mins: 58 Seconds: 54

16 years ago 0 1209 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I guess for now, it may be better to just "avoid" talking about smoking.. or not smoking.  Maybe you can be an influece and they will see you keeping your quit.
 
Remember as a smoker.. we looked for any "excuse" to smoke,  or to put off the quit...The nicodemon is a master of lies and excuses.  
 
Outside visits with fresh air, will be better, but you will hardly be able to avoid your family. 
 
Just remember you did this for yourself and your sons,  and look at the health benefits.. and the money yo are saving.
 
If they are all smokers,, unless they wanted to quit... I don't see much support from them...they are addicted.. and not ready to give up. so all you can do is be a good example.. and hope it may rub off..
 
Bonnie

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 2/10/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 168
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,856
Amount Saved: $571.20
Life Gained:
Days: 24 Hrs: 3 Mins: 11 Seconds: 45

16 years ago 0 101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for your reply Breanne.  Yep, I've tried to get support from them.  They figure its a "phase" I'm going through and I will start back up again like I did the first time I quit.  The only difference is, I quit this time because I was sick of the burning feeling when I would inhale, the smell, and basically I got scared of not living to see my boys grow up.  I actually smoked my last cig and I said out loud, goodbye, good ridance and I never looked back.  My mother knows how I feel but she turns everything around and makes it look like I'm picking on everyone.  I guess avoidance is the best key.  I did turn down a picnic on Labor day but said I would stop over afterwards (celebrating birthdays too). 
 
Kasi

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 7/3/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 24
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 480
Amount Saved: $102.00
Life Gained:
Days: 2 Hrs: 5 Mins: 49 Seconds: 0

16 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kasi,
 
You should feel extremely proud of yourself for quitting and remaining smoke free for 24 days! Good for you!
Despite what your family is saying, you are able to stick with it, and that is a wonderful accomplishment.
Have you talked to your family and asked for their support? Have you told them how you feel?
 
Members, do you have any advice for Kasi?
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
16 years ago 0 101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Well Hi all! Yep still quit but need some ideas and suggestions.  I've tried everything I can think of up till now.  Let me explain so you all understand.  I have a strange family who would rather smoke than not smoke.  I know I did the right thing because when the entire family (my sister and her kids and her kids' kids) smokes (and parents), I realized omg this crap stinks!  I got the worst headache and then I looked both my boys in the face and apologized to them for smoking around them.  That is when everyone blew up at me.  They said I was acting like a self righteous quitter.  Well, the fact is, I DID owe my boys an apology and I wanted them to realize I MEANT it when I said it because I was really getting sick from being around 8 people smoking outside in a porch area.  My mother is the worst of them. No support from her at all.  If anything, she would love to see me fail. She picks these fights subtly and then blames my attitude on my quitting and says in front of everyone that THAT is why she wont quit.  Its like then stop picking on me.  I also see everything so much more clearly (no smoke screen to hide behind).  I love the fact I see things for what they are and I'm not hiding behind that false comfort.  My mother said that is a smokers vice and everyone has to have one. Heck my father even said I didn't have the right to say anything about it being as simple as putting a cigarette down for good to quit because I have only been quit for less than 2 weeks.  I had to look at him and proudly say, "no, I have been quit for 24 precious days and I dont regret one bit of them".  Maybe it is my attitude.  I have never told my family they should quit or pay the consequences because I hated it when I smoked and someone would harp me about quitting.  I've always let them just smoke because I'm counting my blessings.

Ok, need ideas on how to handle my family now that I've written a book here (sorry).

Kasi


My Milage:

My Quit Date: 7/3/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 24
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 480
Amount Saved: $102.00
Life Gained:
Days: 2 Hrs: 5 Mins: 47 Seconds: 8


Reading this thread: