I have been up and down this panic road so often I think I have worn a groove in it.
You're experiencing nothing odd and nothing that cannot be helped.
I recently got off all meds, but then started to need valium. I am not back on my anti depressant. I gave it a shot off meds, but it did not hold.
I have been off work since Wednesday because I had about a 4 hour panic attack that night. It was horrible.
Four days back on meds and I am improving. I even went on a date today. My job is waiting for me when I get back.
I can say that you should not feel like a failure. My first feeling was that I was letting all the people down who thought I succeded at being off meds. But what I did not realize or refused to realize was that I was only hurting myself if I stayed off meds.
The highs I had off meds were so great. I felt like I could do anything, but as the lows got worse and the panic got worse, I began to realize that if there are meds that help me feel better than why not use them.
I know it's a humbling feeling to realize you need meds to help yourself become panic or depression free, but sometimes it's the case.
I nearly screwed up a lot by being stubborn. But I had to try being off meds for myself.
The anxiety just got too strong.
I think if you go on meds and feel better than it will help. What is CBT?
Any other questions feel free to ask. I can write a book on what I have been through. I actually started one but it's been untouched for a while.
David
David