You know, there really are no right or wrong emotions, they just are. What we do and how we act with those emotions are what count. And we mostly are used to lighting a smoke INSTEAD of dealing with our emotions; I think most of us are quite good at "stuffing" our emotions. So it's not surprising that you would have a day feeling like this, but believe me, it does get better, and easier, to "say what you mean, and mean what you say, but don't say it mean". Believe me when I say I've been where you were today, but it will only make you stronger that you were able to get through it without a smoke. Just remember that when you were smoking, all you wanted to do was quit. Now you HAVE QUIT, so don't go backwards! Keep up the great work, don't kick yourself, and accept that sometimes you just feel lousy, but we don't have to smoke over it. OK? [IMG]http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p300/DeeKaySss/glitterparrot.gif[/IMG] Hugs, Denise [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/9/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 63 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,260 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $315.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51

Oh and one of my biggest triggers is guilt, and I felt so guilty about my behaviour towards my dad. I called him later to apologise and he was completely understanding. He knew what was wrong before I did and wanted to get out of there in case I tried to start a row with him and then the two of us would be back smoking! I was happy that it all worked out ok! Nite [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 27 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 621 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �231.32 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40

Hey guys, what a day! I feel as though someone has injected me with craziness! Was at the supermarket earlier and got paranoid that they would think I was robbing something (one of those self service check outs) and after I paid and was leaving a guy started shouting at me and running after me! I turned around and glared at him, he asked if I wanted my change. I said no and stormed out of the shop. About 5 mins later I realised what happened! I left more money behind than I'd actually spent on groceries! Ahhhhh! I was so pissed! Came home and wanted to kill someone, no one was home so I cooked. I made a spagetti, a curry and a cheesecake. Then my boyfriend arrived, my house mate came home and my dad called in. Very quickly and very suddenly, I got mad. I cannot explain it, I saw red. My throat felt like there was a huge lump in it and I felt dizzy and light headed. I wanted a cigarette and these people were in my way. The atmospehre of the room changed quickly and soon only my dad was still there. He asked if I'd like to do something tommorrow. If I had of grown horns, I wouldn't have been suprised, I was so angry and I felt it in every cell of my body. I was cruel, cold and hard and he almost ran away from me. I went to the bathroom, locked the door, curled myself into a little ball and cried. I didn't understand it, why was I denying myself a cigarette, why was I hurting my friends and family. That voice was screaming in my head, I WANT A CIGARETTE! My boyfriend came to check on me, I told him what was wrong. He wasn't that helpful. Then the doorbell rings, guess what....smoking guests! As I've said before, house is shared and is a smoking house so I can't tell people to go out. I heard their voices from the bathroom and I curled myself into a tighter ball and my boyfriend went down to greet them! I wanted the earth to open up and eat me, I looked awful! My face was puffy and blotchy and my eyes were bloodshot, great! Don't know why or how but I went to the sink, threw cold water on my face, patted it dry and went downstairs. They saw me and asked what was wrong, I was completely honest, said that I'd lost it because I had wanted a cigarette (I told my house mate that I wanted to hit her when she arrived home! She was a bit scared and so was i. When she found out it was over cigs she offered me one! She's one of these casual smokers, she only ever smokes other peoples cigs and hasn't had one since I quit and can't understand why I can't have the odd one or two!!! Infuriating!) Anyways, I sat there, with two people smoking and I didn't. I did however, have a few glasses of white wine spritzer and ice cream! I still have strong cravings now and feel like I want a cigarette but I have a bath run so I'll take a bath and have hot chocolate and see how I feel then. I've found the last few days quite easy and stress free and I was not expecting a day like this. It just seemed to come from no where and caught me off guard. I'm quite nervous because I'm starting a new job next week and I think they'll have me committed if I behave like I did today! Anyways, just had to get this off my chest! Paula [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 27 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 621 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �231.32 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21