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Is this what I'm doing wrong?


16 years ago 0 3541 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kristi, the only thing that's keeping you from staying quit is that you keep smoking. Call it a slip, a relapse, call it George. You're smoking, and that is what you're doing wrong. As long as you see smoking as an alternative to yelling at your kids or your husband, or being bored, or jittery, or anything at all, your quit will always be at risk. Smoking is not an option when you're a non-smoker. If yelling is not an option either, then I guess you have to find some other way to handle those times when you want to either yell or smoke. Just like I did, and penguin, Lainey, aloha & probably everybody who ever quit smoking ever. My quit buddies below are absogfrigginlutely right on the button correct, Kristi. Smoking is a selfish thing to do and it cannot be justified with a load of crap about not being able to quit for yourself. That might be the most evil bit of junkie thinking I've ever heard. There is help here when you ask for it, you know there is because you've seen it work. If you don't take advantage of all the help that's available, then you haven't made the commitment to NOPE. AS long as you haven't made thet commitment, you are leaving the door open to the junkie. As long as that door is open, you don't want to quit more than you want to smoke. Do what you need to do, Kristi. Get right back on, take a break, whatever you think is going to be best. Whatever you decide, you know where to find us. When you come back, or if you stay now, I would like to see your promise that you will ALWAYS post before you smoke, and wait for 5 replies. And then I'd like to see you do it. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/14/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 288 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,760 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,168.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 29 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
16 years ago 0 222 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kirstilu, If I am not mistaken It would seem to me your scared, I know what that feels like many times in the past I would decide to give up set a date and then the panic would set in and before I would give it a decent shot I was defeated and I think this was because mentally I wasn�t ready. Speaking for myself, I used all sorts of excuse not to give up because I thought mentally I wouldn�t cope like that I would say it was family or the job or I would give any other reason just to give in to the panic but you know what this time I did cope. I am not going to tell you it is easy because it most defiantly is not BUT it�ll be worth it. I learned not to be afraid of failure because practice makes perfect and If I fail this time I will try again and again till I succeed . So all I can say is never stop trying you will win. On another note take care of you first because only then can you take care of others. Good luck [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/2/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 55 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,650 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �602.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56
16 years ago 0 515 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kristi So much good info here. Sparky mentioned about slipping for attention, it could also be the "what now" if i manage to quit then what "chaos" will be going on in my life? Also, Aloha, brought up the extreme truth. You don't do everything for others - you spend TONS of money on yourself (cigarettes) that could be spent on your children/husband/house etc. You MUST come here before you light up, you have to come here for the support while you are starting to slip. If you are falling off a cliff we can not support you once you have hit the ground - call out for help as you feel yourself losing your foothold. Most of all - people reply with - we are here waiting for you. We have been here all along and will continue to be here to support you. Find that strength that you have tucked away inside and come back full force and STAY! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/7/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 50 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 900 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $351.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
16 years ago 0 3307 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You have been give some really good advice, but the quit begins with you. I have so many slips/relapses. I too fell in love with this site and wanted to quit so bad because of the support and the people had become so important to me. I wanted to prove to them I could do it. I would quit and then I would "fail" and have to come back and tell everyone :blush: But then I was chatting with one of the many wonderful ones and she asked me it I was doing it for attention. That really took me back and I had to think about that one. I tried everything and I mean everything to get quit. This last quit I used Chantix and all the knowledge I had gathered though many attempts. I had to admit I was an addict, I mean REALLY. That word, adjective or whatever you want to call it was not easy for me to become comfortable with. I had to want the quit more than anything else in the world. I mean ANYTHING. You may or may not be ready to quit just yet, but you are ready to do what needs to be done to get quit. Get yourself prepared mentally, physically and spiritually. Like Penguin there were several, including her, that never gave up on me. As you can see we are getting done. I got beat up pretty bad with this addiction, but I am now winning. Never ever give up quitting, one day you will do it. Keep the Quit Sparky [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/30/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 302 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,020 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $906.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 42 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
16 years ago 0 3207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kristilu, Now this is brutally honest [quote] Ever since I had my children, they come first. My family, my job and everyone else's needs have always come first. I buy them things before I buy myself anything and usually feel guilty for doing anything for myself. [/quote] I want you to look at what you said and compare it with the reality. You buy cigarettes for yourself, and if you're like the rest of us, you buy them no matter what, before thinking of anyone else's needs. So, you don't feel guilty for doing anything for yourself, you just ignore that buying them IS for yourself, and probably one of the only things you DO buy for yourself. You just don't get any pleasure out of it. You are not putting your children's needs first so long as you continue to smoke. They NEED their mother around, healthy and as long as you can be there. Every time you smoke you are making the decision to ignore that. I understand that your addiction is masking the reality of the situation, but I can also see that you would like to be free from the control of it. As everyone else has said, you will get as much support as you could possibly want, but the bottom line is it is up to you to decide and stick to it. To truly put your family's needs before your addiction, to buy things for yourself that you can enjoy and treasure, that is a choice you can make. I wish you the best, and the strength to do this -aloha [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/22/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 341 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 13,640 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,318.80 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 48 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
16 years ago 0 3875 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kristilu! Glad to hear from you! You may be surprised at what I am going to say. Come back when you are ready. You're wanting to quit, but something is holding you back, so yes, look inside and think it all through, but come back when you are ready to quit. The first time I came here, I lasted a week, and I was so angry and in tears almost the whole week. I waited five months before I tried again, but when I did, no anger, no tears, all went well. I was ready. Each 'quit' is different and you learn something new about yourself along the way. We all give you advice, but it pretty much is a learning process as you go. You need to learn what works for you, what it will take to keep you quit. I had to learn that I am an addict and that cigarettes are 'my' heroine, and that I am one puff awaya from a pack a day! I watched that show on A&E called "Intervention". It's all about addiction, all kinds, drugs, booze, prescriptions, food, all addictions. That show opens your eyes to what addiction can do to a person. It woke me up so to speak, as to what smoking was doing to my life. So its all about you. You have to want to quit, more than you want to smoke, and you have to be committed to quitting (it is a full time job the first weeks) but most of all, you have to be ready! So do what is best for Kristilu! we will be here waiting for you! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/5/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 358 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,950 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,776.90 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 46 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 2
16 years ago 0 1209 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
There is a topic on Anger with a work sheet. I was/am the kind of person and I am sure many here are ..who do for kids, family before themsleves. so that really isn't an excuse. You have to look inside, work on what you need to do like Penquin and the others have said.. Great advice. you have to commit.. it's not a "slip" it's smoking and one puff..leads to another, and another... I have discovered this.. and I have wanted to slip.. it's not that I am stronger or I have more will power it is I want to Quit and I commited. (And I hope like he___ I continue. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/10/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 15 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 255 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $40.16 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
16 years ago 0 1151 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
kristilu, You can't get better advice than what penguin just you. It's the commitment that will get you through the days when you don't "feel" like doing it or when your emotions become uncomfortable. This really is a long-term commitment, there is no quick-fix. I commend you on your commitment to keep quitting. I said this before your last attempt and I still believe it. I think some real, and brutally honest, reflective time is needed to get yourself ready. Ask and answer the tough questions: What have you tried to overcome triggers? What worked? What didn't? What strategies will you put in place when things get rough? Why do you want to quit? Have you read the book by Allen Carr about the easy way to quit smoking? Something has to change in your next attempt to make it successful and I think you'll know what that is when you come across it. Let us know how we can help. All the best [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/5/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1299 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 25,980 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $5,845.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 101 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
  • Quit Meter

    $37,017.50

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 640 Hours: 5

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 41

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    5695

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    74,035

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 911 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kristilu, The wonderful people here know what they are talking about. We are here to support you and help you, but ultimately, YOU decide. You can do this and we'll never give up on you. When your desire to quit it stronger than your desire to smoke, this will happen for you. Have you considered talking to your doctor about your struggles? Just a thought..... Boxerfan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/28/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 334 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,680 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,670.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 29 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48
16 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I wouldn't be here today, if it wasn't for a group of people who wouldn't give up on me...who wanted to see me succeed. I want to see you succeed at this. Sometimes it takes a few tries, and the very painful experience of relapse after relapse to get it into our thick heads just what needs to happen. I think you know what some of these things are, but here is what I am seeing and what I am reading between the lines (take what you want and leave the rest, ok.) You need to make a COMMITMENT....to not smoke....NO MATTER WHAT. You need to acknowledge Kristi that what is leading you back to smoking again and again, is not the kids, the boss, the hubby, but you.....the nicotine addict. To get freedom Kristi, you need to say NO. It is not easy, but it can be done. There are plenty here that are proof of that. You need to learn how to believe that you can do it...and you can. Someone once told me after one of my many relapses, that maybe it wasn't the quitting smoking that I needed to be working on. To take a break and work on some of the other things that I felt were lacking in my life. I did take a break, and really looked hard at just what I wanted. Sure I needed confidence, I needed to control my emotions, my anger, my frustrations...but most of all I wanted to quit smoking. Once I made that commitment to me, I haven't looked back and life is great. Take a break Kristi and come back when you are ready to make that commitment. We will be here. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 227 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,540 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,610.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 23 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
  • Quit Meter

    $330,437.78

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6027 Hours: 10

    Minutes: 56 Seconds: 14

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45421

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    681,315

    Cigarettes Not Smoked


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