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COPING WITH SMOKERS


16 years ago 0 30 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I struggle with this also. My husband still smokes, at first he either went outside or in the bathroom and turned on the vent. Now, he's not as conciderate. I guess he feels that its his house too and its his 'right' to smoke if he wants. Its hard for me to tell my friends not to smoke in the house when my husband still does. I was just thinking, I owe my sister an apology. After she quit, I smoked in her house, of course I asked her first. I now realize that she was probably just saying yes to be nice and didnt really mean it. Hind sight is 20/20 I guess. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/10/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,150 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $349.38 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26
16 years ago 0 695 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Deck, Congrats.. Great decision!!! I think you need to do whatever it takes to protect your quit... I am much better now than in the beginning, but it still bothers me!!! Reminding myself that I do not want to be a smoker again has really helped..... Take care & NOPE!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/25/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 148 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,960 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $444.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 16 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 56 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57
16 years ago 0 2631 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Deck I missed the comradery of joining together with smokers. As more and more people quit, I was always delighted to find another smoker to sneak outside with. However, if I'm honest with myself, smoking made me more and more socially isolated. As bars, restaurants and friend's homes became non-smoking, I started to avoid social situations just so that I could stay home and smoke. At the beginning of my quit, I had to avoid TONS of situations and people that I associated with smoking but, eventually, those smoking memories have started to be replaced with non-smoking memories and I am able to enjoy activities/deal with stress without smoking. Having said that, I still found the summer to be a challenging time as well as a recent trip to Mexico because I still find it hard to be surrounded by smoker's when I am drinking. On the other hand, I have allowed visitor's to smoke on occasion and I have even been comfortable with my hubby lighting the odd one up when we are on a long trip. Most people would disagree with this but, for me, it wasn't really a big deal. Sooooo....you may have to avoid certain situations in the beginning BUT it will get better. I DO like One more try's idea about creating a comfortable "smoking place" for friends (whether outside or in the basement) Keep up the good work! Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 496 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 9,920 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,480.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 48 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8
16 years ago 0 591 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well, I like to think that i'm not hollier than thou about it, but I don't allow smoking in my house. When i first began, I didn't allow it in my yard either! Whatever you decide about smokers is up to you, but when it comes to YOU and YOUR space - just remember one thing.... The ONLY thing that matters is protecting your quit! We're talking about your life here, and you are in a battle for it with addiction - the same addiction that's whispering in your ear.. "Your friends are so important to you.. invite em over for a smokey smoke..." [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 552 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 41,400 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $10,350.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 49 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29
16 years ago 0 1151 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey Deck, First - congrats on those TWO WEEKS under your belt! I think that is one of the toughest milestones to achieve and now you've done it. Be proud :) So, now on to your question. IMHO, you don't have to become holier than thou about making a huge and beneficial change in your life. If your friends are your friends they will not only respect your decision but try to support you - even if they still smoke. That, of course, is the ideal and reality often falls short. Many still-smokers become jealous or resentful once their friends quit which is sad but it is their choice to feel that way. If you've been friends for any length of time then I'd imagine there are things beside smoking that you love about them and them about you and you can focus on those things. I had to avoid a good friend of mine from high school for the first few weeks of my quit because when I saw her she became a big, lit, cartoon cigarette. We are still friends and I sometimes go out on breaks with her as she smokes. It breaks my heart to see her doing that to herself but I know she is perfectly aware of the damage she is doing to her health, her family's health and those around her. I don't have to say anything because I also know it is hard to quit. Just like with other areas of your new, smokefree life, you'll find ways of keeping the things that are truly you and losing the rest. I believe that when we quit we get to find things in ourselves that we forgot about and really your friends will either foster that growth or hinder it. Here's to week 3! All the best [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/5/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1263 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 25,260 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $5,683.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 98 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6
  • Quit Meter

    $37,069.50

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 641 Hours: 2

    Minutes: 42 Seconds: 32

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    5703

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    74,139

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 277 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Deck, you have made so many great points in your post. I know how you feel. I too hate being lectured by non-smokers about all the reasons why we should quit. (Don't we all?) It is a tough place to be, somewhere between a smoker and a non-smoker. I know we can all relate to at least some of your feelings. My husband is a smoker, and let me tell you, that is hard to deal with. In fact, without trying to blame my husband, I do feel he has had a lot to do with my former relapse. But, I have to tell myself that this quit is for me, and for me only. I am hoping that I am being a good influence and example for him and that he will join me soon. In the meantime, he does smoke outside or in our garage. Away from me and outside of our home. He doesn't mind doing this, because he knows how much it means to me to be smoke-free. And the smoke is too tempting for me to be around right now. I feel there is nothing wrong with making your home smoke-free and all your friends should also understand. But, maybe you could create a nice little smokers corner, somewhere (like a garage, basement, or outside) where it's comfortable and nice for them. Good luck. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/14/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 60 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $20.40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7
16 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Deck, We are to listen to your experiences and every opinion counts! The important item is that you are secure in your quit and that you keep pushing forward. If they are really friends, they will respect your choice and your home :) Josie, Health Educator
16 years ago 0 1107 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Deck, I kind of have the same problem. My friends all smoke, and it seems like I'm avoiding the issue by staying away from them. I developed some pretty good friendships by frequenting the same bar as they do. Now I can't go in there because I can't stand smelling like cigarettes when I'm on my way home. I'm not sure what the answer is, I just know that after the time I've spent away from smoking, I feel a lot better. I stopped smoking for myself, not because all my friends quit. This is probably pretty close to the reasons I started in the first place. I feel that if my friends are really my friends, they'll respect and maybe even feel good about my quitting. They should be willing to step outside to smoke even if I'm at their house. Maybe? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]10/28/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 83 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,320 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $522.90 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19
16 years ago 0 83 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
We spend a lot of time and rightfully so, talking about different ways to cope with cravings, weight gain etc. However, one of the issues I have with quitting is what to do about smokers. Many of you will agree that the atmosphere in the smokers corner outside non-smoking buildings and other areas, is really quite friendly. And I must admit, I had some really good times in the smokers corners. How many conversations struck up with complete strangers simply because of something in common? Smoking! It reminds me of the atmosphere at the back of the class when at school- the bold boys. You will also agree that the comradeship we feel for each other on the forum stems from the fact that we are one of those friendly people who basically like life. Doing what was good for us or bad for us has never been a problem. OK now we have some regrets but we are still the same rebels who decided, despite the evidence against it, to start smoking, drinking and probably a couple of other vices thrown in for good measure. We know that we are not perfect, and we feel quite comfortable with that. Who likes perfect anyway - thin, vegetarian, save-the-planet intellectual (i.e. have all the answers), non-smoker non-drinker, who doesn't do TV, magazines or ugly of uglies Junk Food. I have nothing against any single one of these positive characteristics but all together in one person I just couldn't cope. Where are the pimples, knocks and bumps? I have spent a number of hours in these dens of iniquities and many of my friends are still go there. My house is/was a smoking area? Friends are/were delighted to be able to come to my place and smoke without the need to go outside etc. etc., You can see the hesitation between is/was. I really don't like the idea of becoming a holier-than-thou ex smoker who looks down on those unfortunates who do not have the willpower to quit. I don't like the idea of banning smokers entirely from my company simply because I am yet again on another quit. That said, these same circumstances are the ones certainly conducive to smoking again and therefore to be avoided. I am however, one of those if-you-can't-beat-em, join-em kind of guys, particularly when it is all for having a good time. There are some smokers I really like, even if they do smell horribly of cold tobacco. I personally resent being told directly or indirectly by healthy do-gooders, that what I am doing is either bad for me or for the planet, and for this reason I am loathe do so with people I like and care about. I still want to avoid the smoking situations and would like my home to be a smoke-free area but I would still like it to be open and welcome for all. Of course welcome for all would probably mean it be welcoming for non-smokers too! Sorry for running on but it is Saturday, and time is weighing heavily on my hands this morning so I am sharing my thoughts with you while at the same time avoiding thinking about whether I want to or not. Yes, I admit it the "S" word. Love to hear from you :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/6/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 13 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 455 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $169.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14
  • Quit Meter

    $408,861.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 8153 Hours: 22

    Minutes: 40 Seconds: 36

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45429

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    545,148

    Cigarettes Not Smoked


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