Pheonix,
I think we all go through what you're talking about. Fear of the attack is what fuels this monster. I think I don't fear the attacks anymore. I think I'm afraid to forget about them because my 1st one was out of the Blue. In my mind, if I don't forget about them and always remember that they are there. I will be able somehow to control them...It sounds stupid I know. But if you got sucker-punched out of the blue for no reason by someone you didn't even know was there. You would want to know more about what happened to you so it wouldn't happen again. Problem with me is, there is no other person that hit me. I hit myself. So now I'm afraid of me. I'm too negative Phoenix, I sucker-punch myself with negative OCD thoughts until my body and mind are wore out. I have no other way to shut down my mind than to have an attack. That's what a attack is. when you have convinced yourself that there is a danger and there is not. We are all too hard on ourselves Pheonix.
