My birthday was today, and I woke up kind of sick with a little bit of something. I went out into the living room and sat down, and that's when the strongest craving I've had since my first week hit completely out of the blue. It really caught me off guard. I hadn't been thinking about smoking at all.
So here were my thoughts..... 'Wow, I really want to smoke bad.' 'I could if I really wanted to.' 'My mom has some.' 'I could just have one puff-- who would know, and what difference would it make, and who cares anyway, and it's my birthday, and it's not like I'd smoke a whole cigarette.' 'but I hate my mom's cigarettes.' 'if I'm going to ruin my quit, I'm going to do it with a cigarette that I actually like.' 'If I go to the store and get a cigarette that I actually like, then I'll have a whole pack-- if I have a whole pack, I'll smoke it....... then I'll be smoking again..... not an option.'
So that was that. I didn't smoke, and was fairly miserable with cravings today. And pretty out of it as well. Then, after dinner this evening, I went into the bedroom to change into my jammies.... and low and behold, I had forgotten completely to put my patch on (I'm on step 2). So I was having nicotine withdrawals.
That helped a lot mentally to figure that out, because the cravings came (it seemed) out of left field.
Whoopsie.
I almost smoked today-- if I weren't so damn lazy, I probably would be writing about how I toddled off to the store for the 'cool' cigarettes. Happy to say that I got through this "first" (birthday), without lighting up.... but it was a close one.
By the way, I just turned 44. The age meter has had me at 44 since I started. I'm throwing that meter into the bonfire :mad:
I realized tonight that by quitting, I've hopefully bought myself some more birthdays.
May we all have many more to come.
Deb
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]11/6/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 25
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 600
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $175.50
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 26 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1
